You need to get a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes, after eight hours of microwaving mysterious factory-farm chicken-substance, you’ll almost have enough dollars to buy Enemy Territory: Quake Wars. Developer id Software is bringing this beast to those plastic boxes you gangsters must have stolen - Playstation the third and the Xbox with more than 300 degrees.

When we played a few bouts of this team-based strategic shooter on the PC, it shattered the steel exoskeletons of us jaded cockroachian game critics. And though console multiplayer will be limited to 16 players, we’re still expecting wide-scale human disintegration.

So begin hoarding all those little green slips of paper that say “In God We Trust,” and maybe you’ll be able to trade in your regular, boring hand for a new shiny hand like this:

That’s a strogg alien, babay. And you can be him. You can command dead bodies to do stuff for you. You can walk in a robot and glide in a jetpack. Or if you want to be a stupid ole human, you could use your stupid quad-bike and anti-gravity ship. Psshhhhh. Boring.

You may want to enlighten yourself further about this gravely important diversion on a disc, so power-click this link with authority!

February 13, 2007