On February 6th, 2007, pitiless developer Koei will mass-murder millions of Americans with an immense radioactive explosion named Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI.

Before you vaporize, remember this, sweetie cakes: the 11th romance is where you finally find bliss. This game will be the millennium-defining wet dream event for men of strategy, inducing universe-quaking narcotic emissions with a blend of peasant-crushing war and politics set in 2nd century China. To ensure you’re manly enough, polish your square, cleft chin.

Is it lookin' shiny now? Good. Now you can polish the Images tab above to view 55 screenshots.

Meanwhile, the PR people at Koei are preparing for the massive romance invasion by saturating our minds with propaganda. They scream at you through massive speakers posted around the city, endlessly reading off their list of key features. But we recorded their words and wrote them down here, because indoctrination is more heartfelt when it comes from us:

- Vivid 3D scenes inspired by classical Chinese ink paintings
- 10 scenarios, plus 10 preset scenarios and 8 special challenges
- Newly-revamped debate system
- 100 officer skills from which to choose, including “Divine Fire” and “Entrap”
- Create-an-officer mode with 24 customizable unique character attributes
- For the first time, English and Chinese Voice Options
- Step-by-step tutorials for beginners
- Stirring original score composed by Yoshihiro Ike

December 5, 2007