It's hard to imagine a world where seven poorly animated, grisly voiced combatants could stir a nation into a videogame violence feeding frenzy. Since that original Mortal Kombat, we've ripped out hearts, beaten people to death with their own legs and uppercutted punk asses into whirling, toothy blades of steel - and not one game has ever been pulled from the shelves like congress was threatening 13 years ago.

To celebrate this victory in the face of such powerful ignorance, we've compiled every single murderous end that's graced the Kombat universe. If Mr. Capitol Hill thought burning someone alive was bad, wait until he sees more than 200 back-to-back, horrible deaths that go from horrifying, to hilarious then back to disturbing before finally landing in the realm of "oh god is this still happening?"