Indigo Prophecy

Whatever your opinion about sex in videogames, the simple fact is this: games won’t really be taken seriously as an art form until they can get certain things right, and one of those things is sex. It’s an essential component of film, music, books, paintings and even television, and yet gaming lags sadly behind.

Part of this is because games still haven’t quite shaken their kiddie-toys stigma, but mostly it’s because the rare games that try to get sex right almost never do. The results of their endless efforts tend to range from mildly off-putting to outright mortifying, with varying levels of ugliness and hilarity in between. Maybe someday, we’ll see an in-game love scene that doesn’t make us recoil in horror – but in the meantime, here are 13 that did...

Some games need sex to get their message across. After all, what would Leisure Suit Larry be without its sperm rhythm action games or the bits where you have to get into the undergarments of college students? Some titles, though, just stick in some irrational intercourse for the hell of it.

Whether its taking time out on a bloody quest for vengeance to get saucy with a god or shagging an alien sidekick because he’s been romantic enough to buy a cheap bottle of hooch, all the games inside seemingly thought they’d benefit from a bit of shoehorned sexy time. 

Video games are great at recreating loads of things. Decapitations. Winning touchdowns. Letting you go medieval on a giant crab's crustacean ass for some type of damage. What they generally suck at, though, is trying to replicate the tender act of love making between a man and a woman… or a woman and some sort of green alien thing.

With Kratos getting ancient Greece all hot and bothered again with his heroically horny God of

They might not look all that, but give them the wrong look and the following group of surprising badasses will kill the hell out of you. Wimpy either in appearance, profession or nature it doesn’t stop these secretly Chuck Norris hard characters from saving the world and giving evil the bird, while murdering hundreds of baddies in the process.

Somehow, though, we’re just not buying their unexplained ass-kicking

We’ve murderised millions of men, killed countless cuddly animals and run over a nursing home’s worth of OAPs. But nothing has ever unhinged us like the computer crappers in the following beastly bathrooms. Unhygienic, grim and often smeared in the sort of bodily fluids you’d associate with Kill Bill rather than the can these are the filthiest game bathrooms we’ve ever seen.

In a tight bind, when

There is no better way to end GamesRadar’s Shark Week than by preying upon sharkdom’s oldest and greatest catchphrase, “Jumping the Shark.” Popularized by the literal jumping of a shark in a 1977 episode of Happy Days, the colloquialism is now used to describe something veering into absurdity or lesser quality.

Since videogames are notoriously inept at rendering romance on the screen, we’re celebrating the Valentine “holiday” with these seven most embarrassing and excruciating moments. Beware - the following kisses are so bizarre, so disgusting or so damn awkward that they could literally cause you physical pain.