E3 2009 was a monster. A huge, massive, face-eating beerdemon that erased the agonizing memory of 2008’s meager, emaciated E3 from our minds with a flood of great-looking games, earth-shattering announcements, and a few quizzical oddities we never want to speak of again. After this, we mean, because some things are so good, bad, or just bewildering that you just have to tell people about them. ...

Since time immemorial, mankind has gazed upon missiles and secretly thought, “Hey, that’d be fun to ride.” For whatever perverse reason, the idea of straddling or surfing on what amounts to a blazing rocket engine packed with deadly explosives is wildly fascinating to just about everyone, particularly if someone else does it. ...

They actually got paid for that crap, you know ...

You know that friend nobody likes? The one that keeps showing up because no one’s told him to buzz off? That’s what water levels are to videogames. Upon arrival, they kill the mood and alienate anyone who was on the fence about staying or leaving. In short, they tend to ruin the entire flow of a game that’s otherwise just fine, and very few titles have been able to do liquid environments right. ...

Topics this week:

The Top 7… Deadliest Shark Attacks - That fella bellow is possibly experiencing his first case of broken balls.

How to use your GameShark for good - not evil - Tyler shows you how to employ the late, great relic of forgotten cheats.

The 9 most ridiculous things in Jaws Unleashed - If Shark Week doesn’t keep moving, it dies! Thus, Mikel fired up this legendarily bad game in a selfless feat of stunt journalism.

And more! ...

Of all the games that have passed through our hands here at GamesRadar, few have left us as conflicted as Jaws Unleashed. Released in 2006 to a near-unanimous chorus of jeers and boos, Jaws Unleashed was the first and so far only game to cast players as a giant shark who could freely wander around finding contrived reasons to chew on people. ...

Everyone expects certain movies to receive the video game treatment. It's pretty much law, for example, that all kid films and superhero flicks are converted for the purposes of gaming entertainment. But sometimes a movie tie-in that absolutely nobody was waiting for comes out of nowhere and surprises us all. They're the games based on the movies that really have no business ever being made into a game. Here are 10 such examples of misfiring ...