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Transformers: The Game


The worst games that made it to number one

A look at the suckage that has stained the top spot

Words: Matt Cundy, GamesRadar UK

Number one. By it's very definition it should characterize top drawer excellence. But when it comes to the game charts we know that's not always the case. Here we present the very worst games - the absolute crud of the crop - that have made it to the heady heights of number one in the US and UK since 2005.

 
Hit number one: 10 February 2007
Platform: DS
Game Rankings average: 67%

Port of a decent 10 year-old N64 Mario Kart clone successfully made shit for the DS thanks to added repetition, odious furry racers, tedious touch-screen ideas and collectible obesity. It topped the US chart for a single week.

 
Hit number one: 23 September 2006
Platform: DS
Game Rankings average: 66%

We would make some joke about the only mystery being that this exercise in eye-gouging boredom actually made it to number one. But it's got Pokemon on the box. So there's no mystery.

 
Hit number one: 7 May 2005
Platform: PS2
Game Rankings average: 64%

Like George Lucas' beard, this typically shoddy movie tie-in was impossible to love for even the most rose-tinted Star Wars fan. Still, enough weak-minded fools bought copies to keep it at number one for a total of six weeks.


Hit number one: 30 September 2006
Platform: PS2
Game Rankings average: 63.7%

There's no doubt it had stupidly fiddly controls that made it less fun than waxing your crack, but at least NBA Live 07 replaced Pokemon Mystery Dungeon at the top of the pile. So that's something to be thankful for.

 
Hit number one: 2 June September 2007
Platform: Wii
Game Rankings average: 63%

So tediously slow it could bore a family of zombies back to death.

 
Hit number one: 9 July 2005
Platform: PS2
Game Rankings average: 62.8%

The only thing vaguely fantastic about this sub-standard pile of garbage was Jessica Alba posing on the box in her figure-hugging superhero costume.

 
Hit number one: 26 April 2008
Platform: DS
Game Rankings average: 62%

See Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team.

 
Hit number one: 17 February 2007
Platform: Wii
Game Rankings average: 61%

The best-selling game in the US in 2008. At number one for more weeks than we care to mention. Has sold millions upon millions of copies. Is currently enjoying its 100th week in the charts. Is massively shit.

 
Hit number one: 19 August 2006
Platform: PS2
Game Rankings average: 60.1%

Not happy with the finished Japanese version, Square Enix apparently 'overhauled' the game before its US and European releases. Obviously they don't sell turd polish in Japan either.

 
Hit number one: 30 June 2007
Platform: Wii
Game Rankings average: 54%

An expensive way to see your Diamond/Pearl Pokemon rendered in 3D. A cheaper and more entertaining way would be to model them yourself using freshly laid dog eggs.

Hit the next page for the worst games that made it number one in the UK since 2005.


 
67 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Ramen_Soup  - 9 months 29 days ago 
Fantastic 4 was actually number one?? That game sucked so hard. Interesting article by the way.
jacob_kreed  - 9 months 29 days ago 
This is proves one thing, the consumer knows far more than reviewer, 60 percent for wii play. Its like giving Halo or GT a bad review...Learn from your mistakes reviewers.... What would be very cool to ask us what we think of the reviewers that review out of 10.
Corsair89  - 9 months 29 days ago 
More proof that people will buy anything. I hate ignorant casual gamers.
Over1imit  - 9 months 29 days ago 
Agh, Dirge of Cerberus was so...
Squeenix has disappointed the fans with that horrible spin off...
pestonio  - 9 months 29 days ago 
Don't forget that a lot of people buy Wii play because of the Wiimote you get with it not for the game itself. Plus it's the parents buying the movie games for their kids...
"little Timmy loves Harry Potter so I'm sure he'll love the game too..."
Z-man427  - 9 months 28 days ago 
is it really any surprise that people will buy shit like this? not so much
hardcore_gamer1990  - 9 months 28 days ago 
I brought Spiderman 3, but with good reason. Spiderman 2 was a decent movie tie in and i thought they'd stick to the formula. *sigh*
SlicedCarrot  - 9 months 28 days ago 
Should I be ashamed that I bought the star wars game?? In my defence I didn't enjoy it. =(
somthing42  - 9 months 28 days ago 
The sad part is that i owned 6 of these games. *sigh*
bernie10  - 9 months 28 days ago 
i totally agree with corsair
Taxtm  - 9 months 28 days ago 
@somthing42: I know what you mean. I owned five, sold them all less than a week after purchase, but then my sister bought Mario Party 8. I hate that game so much, but it's not mine to sell, and she won't stop begging me to play it! That game, along with her damn HSM Sing It game are EVIL!
H2A2I00  - 9 months 28 days ago 
i know this me just baking up so horrible decisions i made wen i was little but fantastic 4 was a OK multiplayer game
Cwf2008  - 9 months 28 days ago 
Hey Mystery Dungeon Blue Team wasnt that bad. And sure Wii Play was absolute crap, but at least it had a free Wii Remote in it...did anyone else get the game for the game itself, or just for the remote? Didnt think so

Lol ReCAPTCHA: Gates discretion
TeragRunner  - 9 months 28 days ago 
@Taxtm
Wow that's gotta suck.I'd claw my eardrums out if I had to listen to someone play HSM.
misfit119  - 9 months 28 days ago 
@cwf: That's the only reason that Wii Play has sold so well and it annoys me. We should call it a Wii Remote with a free Wii Play rather than the other way around. That would be more accurate but then Nintendo couldn't tout successful video game sales figures on that title.

Uh... ReCAPTCHA: Frozen scum
Red  - 9 months 28 days ago 
Psh, Diddgy Kong Racing was the shit when I was a kid. It was number one for a while for a good reason.
Sycomycole  - 9 months 28 days ago 
i had no idea that any of these games even sold.
Because i hate almost all of these games
twishart  - 9 months 28 days ago 
I own none of these. Fuck yeah!
Crossfire66  - 9 months 28 days ago 
I especially like how Gamesradar itself gave a few of these relatively high scores and then calls them shit. Obviously a majority of them suck hard but it seems a little hypocritic to say tell viewers they're decent and then afterwards say they suck.
SlightlyBetterName  - 9 months 28 days ago 
I'm seeing quite a bit of pokemon on this list.
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