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The most clueless box blurbs in history

Marketing schmooze-hounds don't know jack about games - we can tell by what they write on the boxes

Words: Eric Bratcher, GamesRadar US

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Seriously? Just put it in a black-and-white box labeled "generic game"

"ROLE-PLAYING swords and sorcery" - EverQuest Online Adventures, PS2
- Remember that scene in Blues Brothers when the lady bartender says they have "Both kinds of music: country and western"? You didn't get the joke, did you?

"Fight For Survival In This Action-Packed Thriller With An All-New Story Line!" - RE0, GameCube
- Wow, a new story. You really went all-out on this one. That's worth my $40...

"Gain experience and develop abilities exploring unknown worlds" - Dungeons & Dragons Heroes, Xbox
- Just one quick query: how is this any different from that one game? You know the one… every other RPG in history?

"Race to the finish line" - Tak: The Great Juju Challenge, PS2
- Because racing to an actual location would be too confusing and "race until someone wins" was too vague, right?

Above: ... then the boss said, "Son, not everyone has on'a them Pee-Aych-Dees. You gotta tell 'em straight up what the game is!"

"Mid and End Boss encounters in each level" - Xyanide, Xbox
- Bosses, eh? Brilliant! If only someone had thought of that before inventing nearly every 2D shooter or platformer in existence, the world would be... exactly the same.

"Computer opponent can be set to Easy, Normal, or Hard based on player's skill" - Ultimate Board Game Collection, PS2
- What a relief. We've been waiting for someone to invent difficulty levels in games.

"Colorful 3D environments" - Monopoly Party, PS2
- Ouch! Dammit - we just sliced open our hands trying to grasp hold of this cutting edge game.