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Bestselling crap

The critics panned them, but you bought them anyway - let's look at why

Words: Mikel Reparaz, GamesRadar US

9. Coded Arms
2005 | PSP
Copies sold in US: More than 200,000
Average score: 59%

Coded Arms' sales figures might seem puny compared to some of the behemoths on this list, but clearing 200,000 copies is actually a pretty impressive feat for a PSP title - especially one that isn't a sequel or spin-off to an existing series. Coded Arms has the dubious distinction of being the PSP's first first-person shooter, casting players as a hacker tasked with killing bugs in a computer network. Naturally, it was hamstrung by the same control issues that plague every other PSP shooter, but what really should have sent gamers running was that Coded Arms is just so goddamn boring.

The company line: "Coded Arms is a visually stunning first-person shooter that places the gamer in the role of a computer hacker who infiltrates an abandoned virtual reality system. … Coded Arms will be one of the PSP system's premiere titles!"

What the critics said: Plenty of reviewers gushed over Coded Arms' impressive visuals, but most of the compliments ended there. GameSpot's Alex Navarro wrote that the game's design "simply doesn't have a lot to offer beyond a bland, unappealing corridor crawl with similarly boring multiplayer," while now-defunct Official U.S. PlayStation Magazine summed it up as "shallow combat meets nonexistent level design in a battle for FPS mediocrity."

It was Game Revolution's J.P. Hurh, however, who offered the most prophetic analysis. "Coded Arms is such a weak rendition of a first-person-shooter," Hurh wrote, "it makes us wonder whether such a thing is even possible on the single-analog PSP." After the steady trickle of PSP shooters released since, we're still wondering.

Why you bought it anyway: Chalk it up to Coded Arms getting there first. In the months after the PSP's launch, new owners were hungry for a game that would justify their $250 purchase, and this slick-looking first-person shooter - a genre that had never really been done well on a handheld - seemed like a perfect choice. It didn't really matter if it was bland - it looked better than people expected it to, and even if the single-player sucked, going head-to-head with friends in a generic FPS sounded like a nice change-up from bouts of Twisted Metal: Head-On.

What went wrong? It's common knowledge now that the PSP's controls make it a lousy platform for first-person shooters, but when it debuted, developers were too focused on the cool things they could do with its technology to notice. Unfortunately, one of those cool things also turned out to be Coded Arms' biggest flaw: the game's randomly generated levels, which were supposed to turn each session into a unique experience but instead turned out bland and repetitive. And because its greatest assets - portability and random levels - turned out to be liabilities, all we were left with was a mediocre corridor shooter we could play against friends.

Most infuriatingly positive quote: "The white-hot fire fights are so intense they actually made our underarms moist," wrote lad mag Stuff. Remind us never to play Black in the same room as Stuff's game reviewers; we'd hate to see what sorts of stains it might inspire.


 
45 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
zymn  - 1 year 1 month ago 
fiiiiirssst.
or, whatever.

uhh...
wasn't there a matrix game where u played as neo? and it was like you vs. vampires or somethin?
anyways, great list. funny as always.
TheGreatHobbe  - 1 year 1 month ago 
CURSE YOU COMPANY LINES, YOU TRICK US ALL!!!
FancyRat  - 1 year 1 month ago 
"Aside from the Driver series having its own sizable (if by that point dwindling) fanbase..."

What?
jingneji  - 1 year 1 month ago 
marvel imperfects was a good games but it had it ups and downs but i still liked it
Pablos102030  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Screw you guys, I liked rogue agent. The multiplayer was awesome.
bron1417  - 1 year 1 month ago 
back when "The Matrix" game first came out i actually liked it,i didnt buy it but i liked it enough to play it and at the time it was tight. but still it's a shame there are crappy games but that's why we have GR. nice article guys btw.
Rodrigo90  - 1 year 1 month ago 
"proving once again that no cliché is too stale for a writer who wants to see himself quoted on the back of a box."

A Hilarious "Ouch" xD
xMrGrey  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I liked Enter the Matrix


:(
chilipeppersman  - 1 year 1 month ago 
for the people who said they liked enter the matrix, that game truly sucked and you dont know good games if you think ENTER THE MATRIX was good, so good job GR. fuck all the company lines too, they are full of donkey shit
Patius  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Eh, in 6th grade, Enter the Matrix was fun. Then again, there were lots of games that we enjoyed back then that suck now that I look at it.
twishart  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I've purchased NONE of these games, and have only played Wii Play ONCE. Thanks GaymesRaider.corm!
I-Be-MAD  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I mean, Driv3r is no GTA but, I still like it.

<:^(
thereaper52  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i loved enter the matrix only because of the slo mo wall kick

fuckin A++ to the matrix
Brainspike367  - 1 year 1 month ago 
How come people say that Goldeneye is the "Best game EVAR!"? Yeah it was good, and the first of it's kind, but have you played The World is Not Enough? I had both for the N64 and TWINE had better graphics, guns, level design, controls, and multiplayer.Plus it had a friekin' harpoon gun! What's not to like?
omegashot104  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i dnt think marvel rise of the imperfects was that bad i actually liked i think 007 golden eye was the worst that game is pretty bad
TedDidlio  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i know im in the huge minority here, but i genuinely loved enter the matrix. i thought it was a really good, really fun game. my biggest gripe was that it froze when i had cheats on. that was mad lame
samboy218  - 1 year 1 month ago 
50 cent what?
Akiira  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i loved the matrix game when it first came out
Coolbeans69  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I can happily say I've never played any of these games (except Wii Play once) and I haven't heard of half of these!
Graham  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I'm so proud of the fact that I've never bought any of these games and, to be honest, I don't know that I've even played any of them. I almost sat down with my roommmates copy of Spiderman 3 once, but after watching him get pwned repeatedly by that lame quicktime event against Sandman at the end, I thought better of it.

Also, that other Matrix game, zymn, was Path of Neo. It had its fair share of bugs and lousy collision detection, but it was pretty fun overall. A good five-day rental type of game.
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