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13 Worst gaming innovations of all time

From gameplay mechanics to design flaws - these are the most heinous offenders of gaming

Words: Shane Patterson, GamesRadar US

Game

1. an amusement or pastime
2. fun; sport of any kind; joke

During their short history, videogames have grown from static screens of beeps and blips to artistic dreamscapes. Flashy graphics and memorable characters would be nothing without crafty design innovations like ragdoll physics and branching storylines that make games what they are today. But how many times have you reluctantly put down your controller for an endless cutscene or muted that racist dipshit over Xbox Live? Countless, if you’re like us.

For all the worthwhile game innovations thrust at us, we’ve had just as many awful ones that - after their initial praise - have ruined the gameplay of almost every game that followed. Game developers, take notice of your broken and boring ways. We know you can throw millions of dollars at a project - how about giving us that televised revolution?

Swimming

Why developers thought it would rock:
Having conquered land and air, videogames took to the sea as a fresh and exciting landscape for item hunts and ambient soft-jazz soundtracks. If the original Super Mario Bros. perfected it in 1985, then every game should have an entire level devoted to exploring the abyss, right?

Why it sucks:
As amazing as that sounds, you’re also treated to sluggish movement as you inch towards your goal like a sperm without a tail. Using modified flight controls, game developers insist you struggle with analog sticks while praying you don’t swim off course. Screw up and you’re stuck endlessly circling about like a handicapped buzzard in a pool of molasses.

From Grand Theft Auto to Tomb Raider and even the brand-new Super Mario Galaxy, not one game in recent memory has perfected swimming or made it remotely fun, no matter how many times it’s given us a glimpse into Lara Croft’s birth canal.

It’s also given us the worst and most fearsome death animations we’ve ever seen. Forget severed heads or exploding faces; you’ll have to watch the face of your character coming to grips with their own mortality as they frantically clutch at their throats, their eyes rolling back after suffering a brain aneurism or cardiac arrest. Grim and disturbing.

 
20 Comments
Nintendophile - 2 months 21 days ago
I definitely agree with the swimming part. Though they add "variety" to games, it's usually an unwelcome variation.
pelos_locos - 2 months 20 days ago
You forgot escort missions (I'm looking at you Bioshock and RE4!). Next to stealth games, escort missions really piss me off.
Darkdraak21 - 2 months 20 days ago
Yes escorts suck i play WoW and about most escort missions the retarde npc gets killed or moves at a snail pace.
FancyRat - 2 months 20 days ago
Agreed with these escort missions. Who the fuck thought those up?
gaia - 2 months 19 days ago
escort missions stink, al least when youre defending a building or something it can take more than one hit and doesnt run right at every enemy you see
katwood92 - 1 month 29 days ago
I would like to feed whoever thought up escort missions to my turtle (slow and painful, but I would need a bigger tank. Totaly worth it!).
Xplosive59 - 26 days 12 hours ago
im a huge mgs fan i (direct your antention to my avatar/picture) but act 3 (europe) in mgs4
was so boring and almost fell asleep while following the guy thanks to the annoying wistle on loop... and i agree escort missions suck
teapotking - 26 days 11 hours ago
escort missions definitley do suck. especially getting martin through the imperial city at the end of oblivion! at least in halo cortana's inside your own helmet, so all you need to do is protect yourself. minigames are also rather annoying, but i can't believe you didn't include retarded AI on this list! i don't know how many times i've had an enemy run at me in oblivion when i'm standing on a large rock, and have them run non-stop into the front of the rock below me, instead of walking 3 meters round to the back of it so they can walk up the convinient ramp-shaped peice of the rock behind me!
adrenaguy - 26 days 10 hours ago
teapotking i know what you mean! and it's when the AI are able to do whatr you can't do when they are intelligent, like they know where you can go and you can't, you don't know that so you hide in a corner and suddenly find them bearing down and unl;oading an entire clip of bullets into your face because they know of a conveniently placed glitch that allows them to do that >:(
and escort missions! don't get even started on those, I think we should slap the person who came up with that shiyat!
oryandymackie - 26 days 8 hours ago
I hate defence and escort missions and why should I care about Ashley dying or not?

Tip: Buy BioShock, it's great..
S1ightlyParano1d - 26 days 8 hours ago
The escort part in Dead Rising was always frustrating because they don't know how to defend themselves. How the hell can you protect the survivours without any survival skills?
key0blade - 26 days 7 hours ago
I like stealth games, even though, like Xplosive59, MGS4's Act 3 was kinda boring.
Ravenbom - 25 days 13 hours ago
Yeah, escort missions are the worst. It's really the poor AI IMHO. Because in real life, if you were trying to ambush a convoy or pirate the convoy or even assassinate the person you're escorting, you'd either plant a bomb to assassinate the person or snipe that person, both of which you can't defend against.
SO, what do developers do? They send in wave after mindless wave of enemies that ignore you entirely, even while you're cutting them to pieces. In real life, you'd probably want to target the security first, then capture the target. It'd also be nice to have decent AI for the escortee...

But hey, they're busy filling games with bloom lighting, undersaturated color schemes, brown lens filter and making realistically reflecting water. (or doing the complete opposite and making cell shaded games. I mean, come on, it's either cell shaded or brown/bloom games anymore) Who has time for AI with commonsense?
neofile - 25 days 4 hours ago
I'm not sure I'd entirely agree that 3D itself is a step backwards, but I think that the very considerable moves forward in graphics and game engines don't solve many, if any, inconsistencies and implausibilities in the game world. My personal hates:


Leveling up. The whole deal, bigger guns, end-of-level bosses, tougher NPCs, is *old*, a hangover from when games weren't attempting to be realistic anyway. Actually, a hangover from 2D which requires you to get from one end of the game to the other, literally, moving in just the one direction. Time we moved on. Give me the Damn Big Gun NOW, when I can do serious damage with it, not way down the line when it will be about as useful as a pistol is now. Let's go do serious damage from the start. And PLEASE give me challenges that don't involve dumb-but-dangerous end-of-level bosses, I'm fed up with the obvious contrivances needed to create them and all the running madly around (often backwards) needed to kill them.

Plausible, consistent Interaction with objects, or not. There's never an explanation for why the ammo/medkit/cash should be laying there anyway, nor why the NPCs haven't noticed and taken it for themselves. And WHY, since my character is able to pick up ammo, medkits, tools and whatever else happens to be laying around,why oh why can't I pick up the Bigger Gun Than I've Got from the dead arms of the nearest alien NPC? I mean, the guy had me pinned down with the darn thing for ages till I finally got him, it's a dead useful weapon and apparently has unlimited ammo, too. So now I'm standing here looking at the corpse and wanting its weapon, but suddenly my arms are paralysed. Oh hang on, if I walk on this soldier here, I get to pick up 20 rounds from his machine gun. I don't want the miserable 20 rounds, I want the Big Alien Gun, please.

And speaking of which, I'm already carrying a chainsaw, pistol, machine gun and sniper rifle, but hey that's no big deal, pile 'em on, there's always room. Oh and while I'm at it, what the heck is an Armor Shard? I'm wearing armor made up of these things all glued together somehow? And how come it's hidden in the air conditioning system? We have armored repairmen? Is anyone else wearing this stuff? And if armor shards are bits of armor all broken up, then it must have been crappy armor to start with, right? And if this Damn Big Gun which I got on level 25 is a one-of-a-kind experimental weapon, how come the dangerous, experimental ammo is scattered all over level 26? Some guy went around chucking the ammo for this thing around the rooms at random? Oh please. Still, never mind because I've got heaps of room in my invisible backpack for a bunch of this ammo, I just need to rearrange the machine gun, sniper rifle, energy rifle, pistol and chainsaw to make a bit more space.

There's way less realism in the 3D game world than there seems to be when you're beguiled by graphical glory. Don't get me wrong though, I love beautiful 3D worlds to bits. But it would be fun to know exactly what a MedKit is supposed to do, and why someone left three of them in the restrooms.
drewster23 - 25 days 3 hours ago
bullettime=slow motion in fall out 3 they probably said semi-fuck that :) you can use a watch to stop time and shoot at what ever body part you like :D but you only have so many shots in vats.. cuz well the watch has AP...exactly... and after u accept your shooting it goes in slow motiton tho .. which u still get hit in. You crippled a guys head...he will just laugh at you.. cuz it more than not does nothing.. you cripple a guy/mutant's arm (he had a 2h weapon)he will drop it then pick it right up ... just like he didnt get shot in teh arm over 5 times. :D
jimsondanet - 24 days 20 hours ago
i think swimming can be fun
like in farcry2(sometimes) when your gettin nailed or doin the sneaky sneaky just go for a swim
stealth some dudes out
its fun

and no, i thought the interactive boss cutscenes in god of war were awesome
especialy after gettin your ass kicked by a camp looking statue

but yea i enjoyed reading this article
lets hope for a sequal
adwerdna - 24 days 11 hours ago
hey i like stealth games as long as it's not ALL stealth. While as action games with little bits of stealth are gay, stealth games with little bits of action are cool. Take Hitman, for example.
Till - 23 days 20 hours ago
I agree with this topic and with pelos_locos about escort missions.
theschwartzb - 22 days 2 hours ago
Hey neofile, maybe if you post a resume along with the 'article' you wrote, GR will hire you to work for them. Your words here are very well thought out, and very well put together. You make some good points about how nonsensical certain aspects of game (loved the part about armor shards). What i hate most is certain bosses (such as Big Daddies, and more recently, Brumaks) that at the beginning were thought of as a challenging fight, but by the end, they were barely more than a gnat in your way that you could swat at your leisure. Escorts in WoW, are the worst escorts ever. The NPCs you are escorting almost never (almost being about 2% of the time) move faster than a slow crawl, and the fact that random monsters appear to kill your escortee piss me off more than dying and finding out your last checkpoint was 20 minutes ago. I especially hate the homing beacon escorts where you have to escort that stupid little chicken, who for some reason cannot fly until he does some "self-repairs" at the end of the mission, and flies off. Why can't the damn chicken just repair itself and fly off on it's own.
foarthelulz - 1 day 7 hours ago
the things that i hate moe than 11 of the 13 of these combined are swimming and stealthing. i hate swimming because u run out of air really fast. i hate stealthing because its annoying it was almost the reason i stopped playing wind waker because i couln't get past the forsaken fortress
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