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Indigo Prophecy


12 videogame stories that jumped the shark

Shark Week concludes with the most JAWful tales ever told

Words: GamesRadar US

There is no better way to end GamesRadar’s Shark Week than by preying upon sharkdom’s oldest and greatest catchphrase, “Jumping the Shark.” Popularized by the literal jumping of a shark in a 1977 episode of Happy Days, the colloquialism is now used to describe something veering into absurdity or lesser quality.

Games may still be growing as a storytelling medium, but that hasn’t stopped various writers and producers from interjecting implausible, outrageous and downright stupid ideas into plotlines that were already taxing our suspension of disbelief. Collected here are some of our very favorite, most egregious examples.

Contributing editors: Chris Antista, Charlie Barratt, Brett Elston, Henry Gilbert, Matt Keast, Mikel Reparaz


Bionic Commando

The basic plot: Guy with bionic grapple-arm enters warzone to save the day and search for clues about his wife’s disappearance.

Jumps the shark when: You find out the bionic grapple-arm IS his wife. Yes, you read that right - the huge mass of metal hanging off his shoulder somehow contains the “essence” of his long-lost spouse. It turns out that bionic appendages need a strong emotional bond to function, so she sacrificed herself to the robo-gods so you could pretend to be Spider-Man.

It’s one of the most forced and ridiculous “twists” we’ve ever encountered, needlessly complicating the existence of bionics. Before this absurd revelation, the arm was just an arm. Wasn’t that good enough? Doesn’t this mean the girl with two bionic legs had to blend both of her kids into bio-juice so she could walk again?


Metal Gear Solid 2

The basic plot: Elite military operative has to sneak, alone, through an offshore oil facility that’s been taken over by high-tech terrorist army.

 

Jumps the shark when: It’s tempting to say MGS2 went off the rails the second its designers pulled their infamous bait-and-switch and gave us pretty-boy Raiden as a hero instead of old familiar Solid Snake, but no. That would be too easy. Instead, we’re going to fixate on the moment when – near the end of the game – Raiden is captured and forced to escape completely naked. Not just because he’s running around with his hands over his junk at all times, but mainly because it was here that Col. Roy Campbell – who’d been directing Raiden’s actions the whole time – turned out to be a computer simulation of the real man. And a garbled, malfunctioning simulation at that.

This also marks the point at which the plot turned really confusing, as bizarre chatter about virtual-reality training and fourth-wall-breaking moments started to cloud what had already been a convoluted story, and by the time you were forced to fight a small army of Metal Gear Rays, a lot of us had given up trying to figure out why.


Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future

The basic plot: Star-headed dolphin beats up sharks and travels through parallel timelines to restore the noble personality traits of dolphins, which were stolen by aliens.

Jumps the shark when: The mysterious Foe aliens travel back in time to disrupt the cooperative relationship between humans and dolphins (which has been strong for about 500 years in Ecco’s 30th-century world), resulting in a series of broken alternate realities that Ecco has to repair. What was up until that point a somewhat believable undersea adventure suddenly thrusts players into a dark future dominated by enormous, decrepit machinery, and then into a slightly brighter, dolphin-dominated one with skyways made up entirely of water.

The sudden shift in tone isn’t such a shock if you’ve played through the earlier, weirder Ecco games, of course. But once it happened, the relatively bright, plucky game you thought you were playing disappeared forever, replaced by something much more sinister.


Halo 2

The basic plot: Aliens want to destroy humans… again. Only our galactic military, led by a super soldier known as Master Chief, can stop them.

Jumps the shark when: A talking plant gets involved. Until Gravemind showed up, we were pretty sure we understood the Halo series’ story. Good versus evil. Man versus extraterrestrial. A simple, classic and easy-to-follow science fiction formula. The Flood was kind of weird, but we could write that encounter off as a fun zombie-hunting side mission.

Nothing could prepare us for their leader, a giant, drooling Venus flytrap with tentacles and a tendency to spout philosophical drivel like “I am a timeless chorus” or “I am a monument to all your sins.” Great, the plant can speak English and it has an ego.


 
67 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
lucashintz  - 3 months 26 days ago 
How did I know Indigo prophecy would be on here? Also, nobody's first, get over it.
KillDrone  - 3 months 26 days ago 
Wow, making fun of Beyond Good and Evil? Hasn't that game suffered enough after such a dismal market?
Jordo141  - 3 months 26 days ago 
WIFE ARM! Knew that and Fahrenheit would be here.
mastersword369  - 3 months 26 days ago 
aw, beat me to it. second!
skyguy343  - 3 months 26 days ago 
i didnt find halo very confusing
mastersword369  - 3 months 26 days ago 
Damn!
hagelbreaker  - 3 months 26 days ago 
You say Beyond Good & Evil jumped the shark still somehow it is one of the best vidogame stories ever?

http://www.gamesradar.com/f/the-best-videogame-stories-ever/a-200804179337286093/p-3
GoldenMe  - 3 months 26 days ago 
I hate Sega and Sonic Team for ruining my favorite franchise. The only way they can bring them back is Sonic 4. Anything else is unacceptable.
iKOemos  - 3 months 26 days ago 
Hey I finally get the wife arm joke! Yer I never finished Bionic Commando. I thought you meant he beat his wife with that arm.... but never mind she's dead...

And please God let there be a Sonic 4, and let it be awesome!
Jacob816  - 3 months 26 days ago 
FYI, the chick with Bionic legs had to sacrifice her sister, or mother or other female relative. It was a female first name (I don't remember the actual name), and the same last name as the Bionic chick.
Pr0fesserCha0s  - 3 months 26 days ago 
WHAT \'0'/ the arm is his wife?!?!?!?!?
Ninja-KiLLR  - 3 months 26 days ago 
wow i didnt not see that coming from bionic commando nvr played it though. that penny arcade comic is pretty funny
Xeacons  - 3 months 26 days ago 
FYI, the "evil Lara" was an upgraded doppleganger from TR1. But I will agree with the zombie mom part. For 3 (count'em THREE) episodes, Lara's trying to find her mom, and all of a sudden, she's a zombie. Well that was a huge waste of time.
CARLINNIT  - 3 months 26 days ago 
haha, i knew Fahrenheit would feature. Still one of my favourite games ever though
dante1924  - 3 months 26 days ago 
I never played Halo, but I thought Gravemind looked like a plant!

Metal Gear Solid 2 was WEIRD! It's like konami was on drugs for the last part of development! Sega too. My eyes can never wash off the horror of a person kissing sonic.
farsided  - 3 months 26 days ago 
absolutely terrific final 'shark' article! hopefully shark week becomes an annual deal because this was great!
dante1924  - 3 months 26 days ago 
It's like konami and sega were on drugs while making those games! I can never wash off the stains of a naked Raiden or a person kissing sonic.

ReCaptcha: Nixon's misdeeds (these were misdeeds alright! They just weren't Nixon's!
dante1924  - 3 months 26 days ago 
Damn it! Sorry for the doublepost everyone! Just that this computer is slow!
hardcore_gamer1990  - 3 months 26 days ago 
Lara Croft = ummmm

Rediculous with boobs and an arse?
PinkLenny  - 3 months 26 days ago 
JAWFUL!!!
GET IT!?!?!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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