Portal 2 super review

  • More brilliant puzzles
  • Impeccable dialog, acting, and story
  • A cooperative mode that's actually cooperative
  • It can't have the impact of Portal
  • It's big, but not long
  • 'Still Alive' is tough to follow

Portal 2's "Cooperative Testing Initiative" pits a pair of lovable robots, P-body and Atlas, against 40-plus GLaDOS-designed test chambers. As you can only really experience the joy of solving each puzzle once, choose your co-op partner carefully - playing with someone who already knows the solutions is no fun.

The cooperation in Portal 2's cooperative mode is actual cooperation - that is, it's not one of those "co-op modes" which only entails running next to each other through what might as well be a single-player experience. How do you traverse a gap? Send your partner into an infinite falling loop, then launch her out of a wall. How do you reach an isolated platform at the center of a pit? Simultaneously launch yourselves over opposite sides of the gap and collide mid-air. If you're playing online, a mic is a necessity, though you're also able to mark spots you want your partner to shoot a portal, in case verbal explanation isn't doing the trick.

Above: We joined forces with a couple PC Gamer editors for an overview of the Cooperative Testing Initiative

The little mechanical testers can access the mode's five zones through a spacious hub room, which also displays a few stats (fun fact: my robotic avatar has taken over 20,000 steps). After a brief tutorial to orient the players to cooperative thinking, the test chambers quickly become baffling. If you're not confident with your portal puzzle solving skills, play the single player, which features a much gentler learning curve, before tackling the co-op.

Above: The hub

Once my co-op partner and I were an hour-or-so into the Cooperative Testing Initiative, our awareness of time ceased almost entirely. It was only at around 4 a.m., when the fog of exhaustion made "thinking with portals" nearly impossible, that we called it quits... only to resume the game ten minutes after waking up again.

Though you can't truly die in the mode (when destroyed, the robots are reassembled and ejected from a tube) there are plenty of opportunities for you and your partner to smash, crush drop, and otherwise mangle each other, making trust - or lack of it - a major factor. It's up to you how trustworthy to be, but you can always apologize with one of the characters' Pixar-esque emotes, such as a hug or high-five. Or, if your bumbling companion just stepped off an edge and fell into the void, a belly laugh may be more appropriate. The emotes can even be used to taunt GLaDOS together through her security cameras.

In the end, you can't help but to establish a fist-bump worthy bond with your partner. When the logical leap required to solve a puzzle "clicked" simultaneously for both of us, we excitedly rushed to make the physical leaps to the exit door, and never forgot virtually high-five each other before continuing to GLaDOS' next chamber.

Together, Portal 2's single-player and cooperative modes are massive...just not in length. You can easily complete both portions in a weekend, assuming you don't plan to do too much else. Metaphorically, though, it's massive as shit. You'll be propelled through a titanic, amorphous facility as it actively rebuilds itself. Everything is alive, even the music, which comes and goes as the science gets done, as if the facility is breathing out digital sighs. It's a huge production.

And really, how long would you want it to be? Portal was short for a reason, and to justify its stand-alone release, Portal 2 needed to be longer, but I'm glad it isn't too long. Making it longer would have come at the expense of its structure and pacing, increasing fatigue and diluting the experience.

So whatever, good pacing, neat set pieces, that's all cool, but is it really worth $60, you dumb over-hyped editor? Well, first of all, I don't appreciate the tone you read that last part in, but that is a good question, and it took a long time for the blinking cursor on my screen to tell me the answer, which is an anti-climactic "yes."

If I were reviewing Portal 2 strictly as an entertainment product which ended when you beat it, then I may be more skeptical. But even then, I can easily say that I think playing through Portal 2 is as valuable as, say, seeing six really good movies for $60 (a generously low estimation). I can also say that I've spent $60 on dates at lackluster restaurants and forgotten about the expense the next day - not because I'm rich, but because I've accepted the cost of luxuries and entertainment. I wouldn't recommend those restaurants to anyone, but Portal 2 'aint a bland casserole, it's a helluva good production, if not a long one.

Above: Not a casserole

Of course, I'm not reviewing Portal 2 with a categorically utilitarian mindset - I also have to consider its value as a creative invention, and based on what I've already written, I think it's clear how I feel about that. Valve has, again, produced a landmark for the medium which won't fade out of view for some time.

Sure, whatever, but aren't you just a typical Valve fanboy, you typical Valve fanboy? Again, watch it with the tone of your internal voice. And yes, I'm a fan of Valve, because Valve has a history of making great games. That doesn't mean I'm not open to disappointment, and I did approach Portal 2 with the concern that it would lose too much of what made Portal great. It did lose some of it, but it made up for it in ways that worked. And if you're wondering, no, the ending doesn't outdo "Still Alive," but again, what could have? Even so, Coulton's words are still stuck in my head, days later...

Is it better than...

Portal? Yes and no. Like I said, how could it be, really? Portal's experience can't be repeated, but the new, different experience of Portal 2 is still fantastic, even if not the same surprise revelation.

Half-Life 2? Yes. What? I know that Half-Life is un-fugging-touchable, but to me, Portal 2 is better paced, contains more interesting characters, is more thought-provoking, more mentally challenging, and far more original. I can fight masked soldiers any day, but what happens in Portal only happens in Portal. Half-Life 2 is great, and may be revered, but I believe that Valve has gotten better at making games since then. Is that so crazy?

Limbo? Yes. It's a weird, completely unfair comparison, I know. Limbo didn't strive to be anything that Portal is, and the reverse is true for Portal. But they are both unique puzzle-platformers, are they not? And I did have to include at least one non-Valve game in these comparisons, didn't I? What can you compare to Portal? Halo? Psh, that shit is too pedestrian to deserve comparison (I mean that facetiously... but not really). So there you go, Portal 2 is better than Limbo, not that anyone was asking. But they're both great.


Just for you, Metacritic

Portal 2 couldn't be Portal, but it's the next best thing. It's a longer, funnier, more emotional plummet through Aperture's perplexing laboratory, and its meticulous detail, perfect pacing, and kinetic, mind-expanding puzzles make it a blazingly memorable experience. It's so damn memorable, already feel nostalgic about it.

Apr 21, 2011

More Info

Release date: Apr 19 2011 - PS3, PC, Xbox 360 (US)
Available Platforms: PS3, PC, Xbox 360
Genre: Puzzle
Developed by: Valve
Franchise: Portal
ESRB Rating:
Teen: Fantasy Violence, Mild Language


  • JDHutch - April 22, 2011 12:14 a.m.

    Portal is a FTW game. all around =P
  • Dabenguin - April 22, 2011 12:46 a.m.

    Great review, but whats that thing above "Just for you, Metacritic"?
  • cjw415 - April 22, 2011 12:48 a.m.

    Portal rocks. Great review, except, is it really deserving of a 10? I was thinking a 9, but I guess its just me.
  • Ganonpork - April 22, 2011 1:18 a.m.

    XD finished it last night, and i thought the song was actually better than still alive
  • AlSwearengenHatesCocksuckers - April 22, 2011 1:20 a.m.

    Awesome review. Portal 2 is hands down the funniest video game ever. GLaDos' constant, subtle, fat jokes. Cave Johnson. Wheatley and the birds. I was seriously smiling and laughing till I cried almost the entire way through it. It's good enough that I spent 10 minutes in front of a door listening to Wheatley try to hack a computer, and didn't even realize I was supposed to be doing stuff. I didn't realize it was placeholder dialogue, I thought it was legitimately part of the story XD It's also the only game that makes you feel like a retarded genius. The picture on the first page with the lasers (you give away a solution BTW) had me perplexed forever, until I finally realized, "OH! Put more then one laser through a Portal with the cubes!." So I did that, and then realized I still didn't think big enough. It's the only game I have played that makes you think, "Oh man, that is so fucking genius what I just did, but why the hell did it take me 15 minutes to figure it out?!" Seriously, anyone reading this comment, don't EVER, EVER, use a guide for this game the first time through. If you're ever really stuck, go run some errands, take a dump, jerk off, whatever, and just keep that test chamber in your mind. I guarantee that very soon after you start what your doing you will suddenly jump up and race back to the console to try out a solution. It's the best feeling of accomplishment from a game I have ever experienced. Even more so then Portal 1 since the new items and mechanics make some puzzles that put the best of Portal 1 to shame. Especially once it starts to combine more then one mechanic. Nuff said. We're done here.
  • mdiaz033 - April 22, 2011 1:21 a.m.

    i couldn't really focus on the review seeing as how gamesradar is too busy S-ing portal 2's D. I love portal but you rotten bastards are not helping. this sequel was as awesome as it could have been. i sure as hell can't think of a better way of approaching the sequel to a game that practically blew every gamer in existence away. but even so, i still think that it deserves a 9 at most and 8 at the lowest. a perfect ten only makes GR look bad. readers beware of this review.
  • juicenpancakes - April 22, 2011 1:39 a.m.

    @mdiaz: Yep, GR giving a great game the score it rightly deserves makes them look bad.
  • PimplesInYourAsstista - April 22, 2011 1:46 a.m.

    @mdiaz033 Well, first, get your head out of your ass, then actually pay attention to the review. If you actually played Portal 2, you'll most likely find the review pretty much spot on. Also, "readers beware of this review"? What, are reviews used vehicles now?
  • AlSwearengenHatesCocksuckers - April 22, 2011 2 a.m.

    @mdiaz033 Why would you give it a 9? Because even though it's better then the original game in almost every way, but it doesn't have that first time charm? That's ridiculous. The only complaint I had was the same as everyone else, that Cave Johnsons levels were more about finding a portal-able surface then any real puzzle solving. Other then that 30 minute segment the rest of the game was golden. I don't think I've ever seen a more deserving 10, other then the original. 10 does not mean perfect in EVERY way. It means perfect in all the RIGHT ways. Also, seriously GR, you want a community, but every time I make a comment I have to do this fucking captcha? Hypocrisy much? Make it like funnyjunk, do one captcha and your account is free to post for a week. No offense, but it's not like this site is SO POPULAR it's going to be bombarded by spam the minute the captcha disappears.
  • BackwaterRifle - April 22, 2011 2:03 a.m.

    @ Pimpleinyouasstista Driving a lemon? make the call to 1 800 lemonlaw! @ mdiaz033 But on a serious note how the ef is a 10 making GR look bad. You dont deserve the sacrade number 33 in your name.
  • Z-man427 - April 22, 2011 2:26 a.m.

    Fully agree with the 10. I actually would rank this as one of my top 10 favorite games. And I really did not like the original Portal. That's how good this is.
  • austincharlesbond - April 22, 2011 3:09 a.m.

    I enjoyed it more than the original :)
  • Limbo - April 22, 2011 3:59 a.m.

    Just finished the single player and absolutely loved it, even more so than the first one. This one is much more interesting and the levels and tests are more varied. The new tools and tricks like the light bridge and colored gels were really fun to mess around with and kept it fresh the entire way. I only wish that it included some sort of challenge mode like the first one had. The advanced puzzles and portal/step/time challenges were really fun to try and beat on the original. Now I just need a co-op partner.
  • Roofmonkey - April 22, 2011 5:43 a.m.

    I agree with the 10, it is a great game. I just hate the fact that I'm already done with the game, both single and multiplayer. =X Took me 3 days to get everything (including all the achievements). Thats the only thing I hate about the game, 60 bucks for 3 days of gameplay. :P Then again, I might as well play it again in a few weeks
  • iFeastOnAntista - April 22, 2011 6:04 a.m.

    Great review, Tyler. I love this comment at the end. I see what you're doing here. You're funny. :) "Halo? Psh, that shit is too pedestrian to deserve comparison (I mean that facetiously... but not really). So there you go, Portal 2 is better than Limbo, not that anyone was asking. But they're both great."
  • totalweapon - April 22, 2011 7:02 a.m.

    i knew this would get a 10 before i looked at the review. what a surprise.
  • sexyman500 - April 22, 2011 8:16 a.m.

    funny that the game is given 10/10 and the game itself sponsors the site itself.....interesting
  • Roofmonkey - April 22, 2011 10:30 a.m.

    @sexyman500 You sir are an imbecile. Return to your bridge at once.
  • FireIceEarth - April 22, 2011 10:47 a.m.

    So, definitely a game to play, but with the length issues, would it be better to rent it than buy it?
  • hoba - April 22, 2011 11:16 a.m.

    @FireIceEarth That's my main concern too. There's a part of me that likes playing games for the experience, regardless of how long it lasts. I really enojyed Vanquish, and didn't mind the fact that it only lasted about five or six hours. But there's also a part of me that thinks £40 might be too much for something I can apparently platinum over the bank holiday weekend. I suppose it largely depends on how flush I am feeling...

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