StarCraft II

Expectations. In some ways StarCraft II can never hope to live up to them. After 10 years we’re expecting several moons on several sticks, and for the multiplayer to be more than simply a refined and classier StarCraft, with shinier explosions and prettier Zerglings. But that’s exactly what Blizzard is delivering. It’s the biggest case of “if it ain’t broke” in recent memory, and we’re thankful for it...

Some of you will be lucky enough to be playing the StarCraft II beta. Many more of you will not. A good proportion of those forced to go without will be howling, denied access to the eagerly awaited sequel to the world’s most popular strategy game. To both these groups of people – the haves, and the have-nots – Blizzard have some news: that beta people are playing? It’s definitely not StarCraft II.

Let’s not beat around the bush. There’s always been one thing that we’ve been great at in StarCraft: losing. When it comes to fumbling build orders, leaving ourselves open to an early rush, and mismanaging our economy, we’re pretty much the best. But that hasn’t stopped us from playing StarCraft II’s multiplayer beta non-stop since we gained access. It’s just that good.

Only once you’ve wandered into StarCraft II’s greased-metal cantina and engaged in conversation with embittered mercenaries, or spoken to Jim Raynor’s crew about armour upgrades and the like, do you begin to understand why, and how, the Terran, Protoss and Zerg campaigns will be split into three separate titles.

Since the last time we saw StarCraft II, we’ve learned a little more: it’s to be delivered in three distinct packages, with Wings of Liberty focusing on Jim Raynor’s battle against the treacherous Mengsk, whose Dominion is establishing a classic propaganda-spewing dictatorship.

Ah, outrage. There’s a caste of outspoken gamers who have the ability to treat the slightest deviation from exactly what they want as if gaming itself had just been outlawed. So it was when Blizzard suddenly revealed they are carving StarCraft II into three distinct parts, to be released when they’re ready. “They’re money-grabbing asshats!” shouted internet angries. “Er, aren’t they just announcing

In the long months since StarCraft II was announced in the summer of 2007, there have been only fleeting glimpses of the insect-like Zerg faction. But now Blizzard has not only unveiled the new Zerg, who have evolved the most of any of the three sides since the original StarCraft, but also allowed us to play with them! (Disclaimer: Blizzard made it clear that the game is still at least six months from release, and nearly everything about it

We're crying. Literally. Crying so much we have to wipe our eyes to focus on the screen. It's not an emotion we expected StarCraft II to evoke in us, but what we're witnessing is so funny that we're pissing tears of joy.