It’s a genuine shame that we’ve been so disappointed by Hammerfight. It’s a 2D fighting game, the fighting being between Central Asian cultures of warring helicopter and balloon tribes, who fight using buzz-saws and pendulum-weapons that swing beneath their craft.
Do not buy this game. We’ll explain why, but it’s important that we get that out of the way to begin with. Put your credit card back in its plastic sheath, so we can talk with less urgency. Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm is about $20 (including various taxes). For that, you get 30 levels, each taking between one or two minutes.
It takes less than ten seconds for Hard Reset to define the kind of shooter it truly is. There is no crouching, no cover, and no reloading. It has exactly two guns; one of 'em is an energy gun that shoots lightning-lasers, and the other is a rifle whose targeting reticule is always red. If the terms of its gameplay don't paint a clear enough picture, we'll spell it out: Hard Reset doesn't care about anything other than killing everything...
You know, we’re sure there must be a decent RPG buried in here somewhere. We think it’s at the bottom, underneath these socks, the incredibly ropey engine, some old school reports, and the amusingly broken dialogue. Hold this useless mini-map for us, and we’ll move the absolutely terrible horse riding to one side. There it is. Can you see it, poking out between the confused voice acting and needlessly fixed camera angle?
Hey, you three. Yes, you, you, and you. Harry Potter maniac, Harry Potter hater, and guy who read the first chapter of the first book back in eighth grade, got hung up on the fact that the giant wasn't the main character and also riding a dinosaur, and quit reading. You guys. Stop your arguing, because we have something you can all agree on. This, friends, is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1: The Videogame, and no matter who you are or how many times you've dressed up as Harry Potter for Halloween, you will hate this game with every fiber of your being...
Seven months. That’s how much extra time EA Bright Light has had to tweak and polish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince after its release date was pushed back thanks to the movie’s theatrical slippage. The time could have been spent perfecting one of the most valuable game licenses.