Do not buy this game. We’ll explain why, but it’s important that we get that out of the way to begin with. Put your credit card back in its plastic sheath, so we can talk with less urgency. Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm is about $20 (including various taxes). For that, you get 30 levels, each taking between one or two minutes. ...

You know, we’re sure there must be a decent RPG buried in here somewhere. We think it’s at the bottom, underneath these socks, the incredibly ropey engine, some old school reports, and the amusingly broken dialogue. Hold this useless mini-map for us, and we’ll move the absolutely terrible horse riding to one side. There it is. Can you see it, poking out between the confused voice acting and needlessly fixed camera angle? ...

You’re a tough police chief working the Bayport area. You’ve spent years on the force, honing your investigative skills and enforcing the law. Imagine your delight when a couple of motorbike riding, spoiled rich kids decide to ‘help out’ on your latest case. You’d probably wish they stuck to stuffing their noses with coke and running over hobos. ...

Seven months. That’s how much extra time EA Bright Light has had to tweak and polish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince after its release date was pushed back thanks to the movie’s theatrical slippage. The time could have been spent perfecting one of the most valuable game licenses. ...

Regularly described as “grand strategy,” Hearts of Iron III is certainly not “diet” strategy - It’s not even “super-size” strategy – it’s full on ‘ask the manager to see the 'special stuff' under the counter’ strategy. Taking control of virtually any nation on the planet, it’s your job to guide your people through the turbulent years of 1936-1948. ...