And perhaps the protagonist’s schizophrenic behavior is understandable. A veteran of the terrible Balkan war, Niko is no stranger to taking lives. And now that he’s come to the United States he’s faced with the terrible reality of his cousin not living at ease with wealth and women, but instead struggling with debt and vicious immigrant mobsters. Rather than skipping into a hot tub with a supermodel he’s running errands in a crappy taxi. I’d be grumpy too.

The only way is up, and the game unfolds as both your aspirational climb through the ranks of Liberty City’s mob, and as a tale of revenge. There’s a reason Niko came to America, and it wasn’t just to pursue that American Dream. There’s baggage to carry, and old scores to settle. The main character along for the ride is Niko’s cousin Roman, who starts the game as the bullied owner of a small cab firm. He helps you out and remains hopelessly optimistic through all the horrors that the pair face. He struggles through locking himself in the boot of a car, having his apartment torched, and being shot in the stomach. Without him, you begin to realize, you’d be completely directionless.

Direction is needed, too, since once you’re dumped into the world proper you have a wealth of options. We started out by just watching TV in the apartment. Republican Space Rangers was on – not a particularly subtle piss-take of American foreign policy and the Republican attitude towards the rest of the world in general. Then it was time to get up and go to explore the world outside. It was so weirdly similar to actually being dumped in a new city that we found ourselves getting chills.

Much of what takes place from that point on is mediated through Niko’s mobile phone, which has a range of options. You make and receive calls, but also receive text messages that remind you of certain options and possibilities, and keep you abreast of the optional side missions. You can also head to an internet cafe and pick up your emails.

For the most part you’re probably going to be following the various missions that the mad cast of characters delivers to you. They call you, or you go and find them at their general location – which is clearly marked on the map. Once the city opens up this can get a little laborious, so we often found ourselves flagging down cabs, which act as a kind of fast-travel system in the city, albeit at the price of a few extra dollars to skip the ride sequence.

All the missions involve getting about in the city. Usually this will mean stealing cars – done at the touch of a button – but it could mean getting a cab, a subway, or even walking. It’s on foot that you really get a measure of the place: this Liberty City, based on modern New York, is as real as any videogame illusion has ever been. Of course you’re probably going to drive, which, thankfully, is an excellent option, one that even survived the transition to mouse and keys.

Cruising around the city usually delivers a few dents to your ride, but the traffic is slow and sensible enough to stay out of the way. Only the motorcycles really frustrate, and you’ll find yourself picking favorite cars to steal as you figure out how things handle. We became obsessed with tracking down and stealing sports cars, since they handle so well, and easily outpace the cops. That said, we rapidly shed our near-suicidal videogame driving habits and began to behave when we realized it really was easier not to use the handbrake on every corner, and to pay the toll-booth on the freeway and not be bogged down by raging cop-cars.