Way back in January, we did what a lot of other tech and gaming websites do, and published a list of predictions for the then-new year. In this case, we predicted the games that we thought – for a variety of reasons – wouldn’t see the light of day until at least 2010, and published it under the somewhat inflammatory headline No Heavy Rain until 2010?
Just a few weeks ago we firmly held each others’ hands and danced jigs of joy for 2010’s biggest and best games. Yes, our Platinum Chalice awards were once again a festival of finery directed at the year’s brightest stars, but now come the dreaded Anti-Awards, which force a spotlight on all the bullshit games, trends and ideas we had to endure throughout the year.
To commemorate their anti-triumph, we’re awarding each “winner” with Bayonetta’s own Stone Award, the statue of a falling fat man that added insult to injury and nearly made us quit playing an otherwise brilliant game. Oh, what a day indeed...
“Is that your profession or pleasure?” Well, when it comes to jobs in games, it’s usually both. Y’see, your average gaming hero’s nine-to-five is a never-ending stream of employed excitement. Acrobatic plumbers who frolic in magical fantasy kingdoms. Archaeologists with pornstar bodies who can dual wield pistols like everyone’s favourite slaphead assassin. And suspiciously buff scientists who routinely save the human race with nothing but a crowbar. They all enjoy incredible careers we mere mortals could only dream of. Of course, if their jobs were a little more true to life, Mario would probably do himself in when he faced his first backed-up toilet…
For whatever reason, you don’t see a lot of video game characters taking time out from shooting dogs or whatever to watch TV. We’re guessing it has something to do with that thing we just said sounding insanely boring, but even so, games that let us watch the characters watching TV have become gradually more common. Here are our favorites...
How many lives has your favorite hero saved? Chances are, it's probably less than those on this list. See which gaming protagonist is a savior savant after the jump...
For whatever reason, you don’t see a lot of video game characters taking time out from shooting dogs or whatever to watch TV. We’re guessing it has something to do with that thing we just said sounding insanely boring, but even so, games that let us watch the characters watching TV have become gradually more common. Here are our favorites...
We didn’t need to play UK Truck Simulator (totally real) or whatever before declaring our picks for the best games of 2010. We have common sense and expectations. We’re not robots. Well, maybe we are, but if we are then we’re really advanced robots - like Data’s brother in TNG.
This human (or evil android) common sense also gives us the power to make educated guesses as to which games of 2011 will get award-giving gamz jarnlists like ourselves all riled up...
Think every game this generation was brown, grey, or orange? These 14 games will prove you wrong...
What kind of year has 2009 been? If we’re honest, a tough one. Practices central to the PC, such as the use of dedicated servers, are being ignored. We’re getting games months after our console cousins. The PC is being increasingly marginalised by publishers who don’t think we matter.
Those publishers are wrong.
Christmas '09 is cancelled, but early next year looks amazing.
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