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Crysis


Our boring masked heroes

Can you tell any of these generi-soldiers apart?

Words: Shane Patterson, GamesRadar US

See if you can guess what game we’re talking about: in the war-torn near future, a supersolider - outfitted in skin-tight armor - wages battle against legions of aliens/other supersoldiers. To protect his scar-ridden face, he dons a nondescript, yet sleek helmet, thereby rendering him mute and indistinguishable from everything else on sale. Give up? It’s a trick question.

You might remember our feature on the world’s most generic game character where we created our own Frankenstein-like world-saving hero. We’ll go deeper than that - today we’re scrutinizing the generic hero’s face mask from the last year or so, which are constantly way too similar across titles.


TimeShift
Sculpted from Boring, our hero’s cross-sectioned face is modeled like he’s perpetually furrowing his brow. Curiously merging a paintball mask with a halogen light, he can bend the fourth dimension, but will you even remember his name? Our sources say no.


Army of Two
Fist-bumping terrorist slayers, Rios and Salem bling more than just their custom shotguns - they even attach flame decals to their helmets like a 12-year-old does to skateboards. Hey, it made Optimus Prime look “badass” in the Transformers movie. Surprisingly, there’s no protection for the back of their heads considering they’re generally being shot at from behind. No matter - “KILL ‘EM ALL! GYEAHHH.”


Crysis
Avert your attention from the ropey muscle suit and direct your eyes to this hot shot’s flight mask. With no other explanation for the glowing red eyes, we bet he triggers it to alert his Korean enemies that he’s super pissed and about to chuck them over a mountain. Interestingly enough, Crytek has ditched the goofy helmet for their follow up - Crysis: Warhead. The bald-headed goon replacing the first guy is sort of a step up.


Dark Void
We’re not going to knock Capcom’s upcoming Rocketeer-sim too much because it looks pretty sweet, but that helmet’s vertical slit makes hero Will look like he’s got an asscrack on his face. Just sayin’.


 
3 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
ryno  - 11 months 13 days ago 
actually to me Wills helmet looks more like a vagina
TRAVthe3RD  - 3 months 7 days ago 
haha thats the best first comment ive seen
iispro  - 2 months 10 days ago 
lmfao
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