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Half-Life 2: Episode Two


Game characters that deserved to die

The reckless fools who danced with death and ended up tangoing their way to hell

Words: Dave Meikleham, GamesRadar UK

No one likes death. We'll go out on a limb and say it sucks. As unpleasant as the fatal journey into the great unknown is, though, certain characters still chase the Grim Reaper like news-starved paparazzi going after an up-skirt shot of a Z-lister. The following death-wishers, whether through their own stupidity, being huge wimps or just dying in embarrassing fashion, all deserved to bite the big one.



The deceased: Carmine


How they bit it

Unwisely sticks his head above cover to reload his gun and gets sniped for his troubles.

Why they deserved to die

Because it’s his God-given duty. During times of war, members of the Carmine clan have a shorter life expectancy than a carton of milk. Not dying comically at the hands of the Locust or some sort of carnivorous intestinal worm parasite would be unpatriotic, while also spitting in his family’s proud tradition … or something. Besides anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to pop their coconut into a sniper’s sights needs a good killing.

How they could have saved their skin


The deceased: Hana Tsu-Vachel - Fear Effect


How they bit it

If your adrenaline gets too high while controlling Hana (or the other two playable characters) they’ll literally die of fright. You see what they did there? Fear Effect? Being scared to deat… never mind.

Why they deserved to die

Because she’s a big scaredy cat who has no place in the survival horror genre. Did you see Leon S. Kennedy suffer a stroke when he saw El Gigante? Did Dead Space’s Isaac suffer coronary failure when the first Necromorph jumped out of the shadows and tried to shatter his spinal column? No. So man up, take some horse tranquilisers and calm yourself down, woman. If you can’t take a little getting shot at and being dropped into life or death situations you deserve a hot intimate date with death.

How they could have saved their skin


 
55 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
AngryScotsman  - 1 month 3 days ago 
Ben Carmine didn't run into the Berserker, that was someone else, Ben was eaten by the riftworm, then by the things in the riftworm.
jackburnt  - 1 month 3 days ago 
I didn't read the article, but I have a suggestion on how you do your spoilers.

Instead of listing the character then the game. Why not put the game at the top? That way if someone hasn't played it yet, they know to skip it. But if someone just reads the name, then later when they play the game, they know he/she dies.
axis56  - 1 month 3 days ago 
jackburnt has a point, ive only just started playing half-life 2. i know thats a crime in itself and i probably deserved it but still wouldve saved a plot point. Its nowhere near as bad as when someone told me th ending to the very first saw movie.
allthegoodnameswheretaken  - 1 month 3 days ago 
Gears of no war Man!
Conman93  - 1 month 3 days ago 
Lol forest is a wimp :)
Hated killing the colossi. They were so majestic
Samael  - 1 month 3 days ago 
Yeah, like Scotsman said, Ben Carmine didn't die from a berserker. In fact there were no berserkers in Gears of War 2. So...yeah...
nadrewod999  - 1 month 3 days ago 
The guy who died because of the Berserker in Gears 1 (that is the game they are referencing, people!) was a random COG (the name of the military in the Gears series) who was just too cowardly to stay with a squad of heavily-armed allies, instead running and screaming towards a creature who could only feel the vibrations in the floor as you move and hear you cries for help as it tears you apart, so he was doomed as soon as he got scared.
GameManiac  - 1 month 3 days ago 
By far, the article with the BEST-fitting pictures.

Batteries Not Included is awesome!
dannage805  - 1 month 2 days ago 
yea da COG dat got milled by a Berserker was just sum random dude, however he did have the same voice as Carmine, as does nearly ever COG that wears a helmet
Ded  - 1 month 2 days ago 
Yeah even I'm not a massive GoW fan and I know B. Carmine was killed in GoW2 inside the worm..

True they are marked for death wherever they go, watch C. Carmine get killed in GoW3..
jackthemenace  - 1 month 2 days ago 
i know everyone else has said it, but ben carmine got killed by the nemecytes inside the riftworm arse...

and i do agree with post #2, it would be easier
mrandydixon  - 1 month 2 days ago 
@jackburnt

Great point, I hope they take your advice. Luckily for me, I've already played all the games on this list that I'm interested in...

SPOILER

I wonder how they'll kill off C and D Carmine?
Cyberninja  - 1 month 2 days ago 
if your peaceful than you dont desevre to die in the colosis case
Blade9450  - 1 month 2 days ago 
Of course you do! If you were a giant lumbering stupid thing who wouldn't want to kill you? Even if it was just to brag to your friends later. That would make up for all the dress-wearing in the world!
Yar  - 1 month 2 days ago 
Why Kratos on this list? Throughout both of the God of War games, you just get the general impression that he's not only a twat, but also a complete moron, and I say this in full awareness that he could pull of my noggin without breaking a sweat.

Then again, I could always distract him with a maths problem and then watch as his head implodes...
Yar  - 1 month 2 days ago 
Why isn't Kratos on this list? Throughout both God of War games, you can't help but get the feeling that he's not only a complete idiot who brings every trouble upon himself, but also meatheaded twat, and I say this being fully aware that he could rip my noggin off without breaking a sweat.

Still, I could always show him a simple maths problem, and watch as his head implodes...
Yar  - 1 month 2 days ago 
Dangit, double post... this website is lagging like hell for me today...

I'll stop now.
FETALJUICE  - 1 month 2 days ago 
Comparing Sargeant Johnson's death by glorified flying toaster to Forrest' death by zombie crows, its pretty hard to say who had the most humiliating death but I choose Sargeant Johnson's death by glorified flying toaster. It was hilarious the first time I saw it.
H311DUCk  - 1 month 2 days ago 
R.I.P- Eli Vance
Visual217  - 1 month 2 days ago 
Lolz, cool article guys! It always seems that carmine is one to get mauled, sniped, beaten, shot, or any other painful deaths.
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