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ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 0-9

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Apr 17, 2007

Valhalla Knights

PSP Review

As tragic as it is when a youngster loses his/her way in this crazy world of ours, at least there are a wealth of alternatives at the frustrated parent's disposal. Time outs, groundings, military school in Alaska, or even a good, old fashioned, politically incorrect spanking. But with no naughty stick to whack it back into line, what do you do when an otherwise promising game has no direction? It's a question that somebody apparently couldn't answer for Valhalla Knights, an RPG that had enough ...
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Sep 22, 2006

Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria

PS2 Review

Final Fantasy XII isn't the only RPG in town. And though it kicks ass, there's room in our hearts for more than one fantasy. Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria is the rare pleasure that blends traditionalism with its own personality. The results are engaging. Graphically, Silmeria outclasses just about every game on the PlayStation 2. It's not just about raw horsepower, although this game will make your PS2 cry - it's always running smoothly, with hugely detailed characters on screen. But it's also ...
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Jul 17, 2006

Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth

PSP Review

A voice cries out in pain and fear. Close your eyes; you can hear it. You descend from the skies towards the ground, arriving just in time to see a young woman brutally slain. Instead of investigating, or taking revenge on her behalf, you simply do your duty: you recruit her ghost as a warrior on behalf of the gods. Now, she joins the fighting - to stave off an inevitable Armageddon. Sounds a bit more interesting than your average group of clueless kids on a field trip from one miserable ...
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Jul 3, 2007

Vampire Rain

360 Review

Splinter Cell - but with vampires. Sounds so good, doesnt it? Its no wonder that early word of the Japanese stealther made us feel like kids at Christmas. But our review of the Japanese version was as disappointing and upsetting as waking up on December 25th to find that Santas not only used your stocking as a toilet but wiped his ass on the curtains too. And now its our duty to simply restate the fact: this game hates you, and wants you to have a bad time. Rain follows the exploits of a ...
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Dec 15, 2004

Vampire: the Masquerade Bloodlines

PC Review

Their diet is unnatural, and those who consume it are shunned by society. If discovered, they're driven out by mobs waving pitchforks. Yes, Monster Munch and Iron Bru-scoffing games journalists are a hideous breed, and should be slaughtered in their sleep.Vampires though, just as horrible and eighteen times as sexy, get their own videogames. Vampire: The Bloodline Masquerades differs from your average nibble-'em-up. Yes, there's superhuman powers of the undead and blood-drinking, as seen in ...
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May 8, 2007

Vampire's Rain [import]

360 Review

Were going to get straight to the point: Vampires Rain is a wretched game. It hates you, it insults you as a gamer and it plain doesnt want you to enjoy playing your 360. Forget any twinge of excitement you may have felt from the trailer, or the whiff of promise that wafts out of the Splinter Cell-meets-Dracula concept - this is a game to avoid like Marmite-flavored herpes. Why so bad? Its tough to know where to start. The horrible, unrelenting grayness of it all is the most immediate problem. ...
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May 20, 2004

Van Helsing

PS2 Review

Before Hugh Jackman turned Van Helsing into a swashbuckling super hero, the eccentric vampire hunter was usually portrayed as a greying, grizzled professor. As every Hammer Horror beasties' nemesis, the hapless hunter was rolled out whenever Frankenstein's monster, Wolfman, or The Count himself, got out of hand. A quick count reveals that Peter Cushing played Van The Man six times, eclipsed only by the haunting Christopher Lee (of LOTR fame) who donned the fangs for the Dracula role on no less ...
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Feb 8, 2007

Vanguard: Saga of Heroes

PC Review

After nearly five years in development, Vanguard has created much buzz in MMO circles. Originally billed as the game that hardcore World of Warcraft players would want to leap into after getting tired of grinding Blizzards end game, and later toned down (if not the game, then at the very least its marketing) to appeal to a wider audience, Vanguards lengthy development has clearly had its share of ups and downs. But despite any hate you may have heard on message boards in the days and weeks ...
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Aug 21, 2007

Venice Deluxe

PC Review

Aug 21, 2007 Much sunken treasure has been salvaged by Venice Deluxe, from arcade relics such as Breakout, to Tetris, pinball and even penny drop machines. Retro64s latest feels smart, unique yet never particularly new. From your golden gondola, you fire treasures into sinking palaces. Rather than stick to the first thing they encounter, as in Puzzle Bobble, they ricochet around until they hit either their matching socket or the rising sea. Obstacles abound, from angled bumpers and sliding ...
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Oct 25, 2007

Victorious Boxers: Revolution

Wii Review

Oct 25, 2007 We enjoyed the boxing minigame in Wii Sports, pounding away on friends, even if there wasn't much to the game. So a full boxing game on the Wii has been a tantalizing prospect. Having practiced on Wii Sports, and seeing that the default control scheme in Victorious Boxers: Revolution is essentially the same, we were all ready to go in swinging. Instead, our boxer ducked. Then he dodged to the side. Then he threw a hook when we wanted to throw an uppercut. Sadly, you'd think a ...
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