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Panel Bashing: Superhero Stats review

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The votes are in – find out who’s won what in our latest super-powered superhero poll

They’re the questions that needed asking, and as the UK’s leading comics mag, we were the people to ask them. After all, who else is going to find out just how the nation feels about fictional journalists or which superhero would make the best company for a few jars at the local?

These are the burning issues of the day, and it is our duty as comic book obsessed writer-folk to report them. After all, you good people of the internet voted in your thousands, so it would be remiss of us not to tell you what the hell the results are. So, without further ado, here are the results of Comic Heroes’ latest superhero survey. Brace yourselves, friends – we’re going in…

Henry Cavill is set to take on the role of Superman next year. Which screen version of Superman is your favourite so far?

Over the years, Supes has been subjected to his fair share of actorly interpretations, but none have cast a shadow as long as Christopher Reeve, whose silver screen Superman domination from 1978 to 1987 firmly established him as your favourite, garnering an impressive 64% of the vote. With numbers like that, you’ve got to feel sorry for some of the others who’ve filled the red and blue boots over the years – although Smallville’s Tom Welling managed a respectable 16% to put him in second place. Dean Cain (remember him?) managed 9%, while Brandon Routh… well, he didn’t do so well. Poor old Brandon. You’d have thought there would be someone out there who didn’t think Superman Returns was a bit pile of smelly old pants, but there just isn’t.

Which superhero would make the best US President?

President is obviously a pretty tough gig (apart from all the free doughnuts and saluting), so picking a likely super-candidate is a toughie. Let’s face it, as great as Hulk and Wolverine are, they might struggle with the details of fiscal policy. Someone predictably, Professor X made the top spot here, with 27% of the vote. The question is though, which Xavier would we prefer, the hirsute, ale-supping ladykiller of X-Men First Class , or the baldy Shakespearian wise old man of the earlier X-Men films? Interestingly, Captain America came in second place, which could make international strategies much more interesting: “Shield in your FACE, terrorism.” Mr Fantastic limped in to third place with a meagre 8% of the vote, which considering he’s a full-on genius of monumental proportions is pretty short sighted of you voters if you ask us. But what do we know, the people have spoken after all…

Which real-world problem would most benefit from the intervention of Superman right about now?

Planet Earth is far from short of problems at the moment, what with all the wars, famine, rioting and, of course, Jedward. But Supes has a social life too you know, so it would be unfair to ask him to solve all the world’s issues and euthenise a pair of Irish idiots when he’s got places to go and people to meet. Thankfully, all you guys want Superman to fix when he gets a spare minute is the tiny matter of global warming, which came top of the poll with 19%. Maybe he could sort out a few icebergs out with his freeze breath or something. In second place, you’d like him to stop Venice sinking, while in third place with 13% was the destruction of the rain forest. Less than 2% of the voters wanted him to sort out the phone hacking scandal, which seems a shame as he’s definitely the man for the job, what with his extensive media training and ability to crush a man’s skull without raising an eyebrow (not that he’d ever do that, of course, but there’s nothing wrong with a bit of wishful thinking).

With which superhero would you most like to go for a pint?

A tricky one, this, as most superheroes are likely to give you a stern talking to when you breach the subject of a bit of recreational binge drinking with them. Not that you canny voters allowed any spandex-clad moralisers to get in your way. Oh no, instead you decided to coax a recovering alcoholic into relapsing and joining you for several Mojitos at the Dog And Duck – that’s right, ‘Ole Shell Head himself came in at number one with 17%. Tony Stark, we’re coming to get you, and we’re bringing a litre bottle of Tesco Value vodka. Bizarrely, Thor came second – we can’t imagine he’d be much fun, but then again it’s probably easier for a Norse god to get served at the bar. Wolverine came in third with 10%, which is much more like it. There’s a superhero who really knows how to hammer down a few beers, and you’re not likely to get any trouble with closing-time brawlers or over-enthusiastic bouncers with an adamantium clawed killer buying the next round.

Which of these fictional journalists and publishers do you think should step in and save the newspaper business?

The Times thought a pay wall was the answer, but we know better. Naturally, the only way to save the ailing newspaper industry is to bring in a (fictional) titan of journalism to put things right. Of course, the mighty J Jonah Jameson, he of the incessant Spidey-rage, came out on top with 31% of the vote. Perry White was right behind him with 24%, while Lois Lane grabbed herself 11%. Tintin, that adventurous boy reporter (he’s never seen picking up after Snowy is he, the filthy git) grabbed 8% of the vote, which is pretty impressive considering his complete lack of senior editorial experience.

So there you have it: Superman will save the day, J Jonah Jameson will save the press, and Tony Stark will prop up the bar with you, which as it goes isn’t a bad result. Don’t forget, you can pick up the latest issue of Comic Heroes (which features a rather dashing Superman cover) from your local news sheet stockist, or alternatively from right here .

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