Overwatch cheaters get banned and their reactions are so salty, yet so sweet

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Blizzard has been very clear on cheating in Overwatch: don't. You'll get banned, even if it's your first offense. Some players, however, either didn't get the memo or decided to tempt fate and cheat anyway. Many of those such players were just hit with the banhammer, and are currently having a meltdown on their various forums across the interwebs.

Reddit user jonnytothedee has compiled screenshots showing off some of the most ludicrous reactions the banned have shared with the world, and they are just priceless. Here's some of my personal favorites (edited for spelling):

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to form a union against Blizzard and sue them somehow? How can they detect these cheats unless they are using some trojan, which is illegal." Welcome to the Blizzard Cheaters Union, membership fees are due at the door, first item on the agenda: How to sue a company when we have admitted to breaking the terms and conditions.

"These mortals have angered me for the last time. Blizzard will feel my wrath." No comment.

"We are at war. War with Blizzard. Every day they persecute us for our beliefs." This one goes on to say that the only way to effectively fight in this "war" is to buy a virtual currency. The combination of hyperbole and panhandling is the closest any of these comments comes to self-parody.

"I deserve another chance if I spent extra to buy the pre-order edition." I don't recall "mulligan for cheating" on the list of pre-order bonuses.

"I only used because I'm stoned as **** and my teammates often flame me in Ranked for not being good." One of these things couldn't possibly have anything to do with the other, could it?

"The age of Blizzard is over. Time for us to take back what is ours." I'm just genuinely confused by what this poster thinks is theirs. Is it the game they didn't work on? The time and money they spent on it? I don't think they're likely to get any of the above.

"Gonna have to explain to my girlfriend why we can't play anymore." At first this seems pretty benign, and then you see this is from someone whose account name was "SUCKMYD1CKBLIZZARD." Classy.

"It was just a mouse bot. Are they gonna ban me for using Paint now too?" Probably not. Unless Blizzard buys the rights to it and turns it into a competitive shooter. Which, come to think of it… *jots down "MS Paint MOBA" on "List of great ideas"*

My very, very favorite though has to be this exchange, which I've not edited because to do so would ruin the fun: "can anyone teach me how to ddosn overwatcher servers (line break) ime hacking since born im nto to be messe width (line break) - best overwatch player"

To which someone else responded, "i am infamous hacker from minecract and roblox (line break) ive hacked many servers there (line break) i think i can help you with taking down overwatch"

Bless their hearts.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hi! My name's Sam Prell. I'm a games journalist with a soft spot for MOBAs, MMOs, and puppies. I also unironically like Todd McFarlane's Spawn. May the '90s never die!
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