Yes, the combat works, but hacking your way through thousands of zombies is mind-numbingly easy as there's no swarm AI and most enemies are content to stand around waiting to be dismembered. You'll gore your way through roughly six hours of story-mode, unlocking twenty chapters which can be replayed in free-play or survival mode. These chapters do have some replay value, though, as there are tons of hidden unlockables.
Each chapter funnels you through short, linear levels. The few bosses you do encounter are fun the first time around for the kitsch factor alone (name the last time you fought a zombie killer whale?) but most are just your standard ensemble of Yakuza-wannabes that appear over and over. Indeed the entire game seems like little more than an excuse to ogle Japanese girls, especially considering the dress-up mode, or as we like to call it, the Real Doll Creator. There, you can strip Aya, Saki and Annna down to their skivvies, change their hair, skin tone and eye color (sorry, proportions remain a constant) then dress them up in clothing articles you've unlocked. Models can be twirled and rotated in any which way and the game certainly doesn't discourage you from taking a peek down a blouse, or up a skirt.
Quite fittingly, Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad is gaming's equivalent of a cheesy B-movie. Sure, the production values stink, but for anyone with a fetish for zombies and/or samurai bikini cowgirls covered in blood, it's worth a few bucks. Rest assured, though, we won't judge as we had a bit of guilty fun ourselves.
Feb 20, 2009
