Old Dogs review

Wild Hogs director Walt Becker dips back into the pudgy, middle-aged buffoon well with this turgid semi-sequel that pits over-the-hill BFFs John Travolta and Robin Williams against a couple of precocious seven-year-olds, after Williams’ ex-girlfriend (Kelly Preston) drops them into his life.

Forced into fatherhood, Williams learns a few lessons, takes some bad pills, has a wild day at the zoo, and collects a frankly shameful seven-figure paycheque.

If the most you ask from a ‘family comedy’ is that Seth Green gets kicked in the testicles and molested by a bear, than this is the film for you. Otherwise, it’s a two-ton nuclear warhead of aggressive lameness, a hard, pounding rain of flop sweat and triteness and depression.

That being said, toddlers and the disturbed folk who made Hogs an inexplicable hit may well find it uproarious.

Everyone else would be better off staring at the bottom of their shoe for 88 minutes.