Ode to a suburban Pokemon Go Player


I am sorry

But I am that asshole

Driving slowly through your neighborhood

Stopping frequently

To pick up Pokemon.


Hello neighbor

Your yard is beautiful

Is that a gas grill?

I am here for Weedle.

I don’t even like Bug types

But I want his candy.


The grocery store is cool in the July heat

There are people here

I bump into them, unseeing

Pidgey is close now. So close.


I see someone standing in front of the gym

To him, it is the local church

I stare at him balefully

I bet he’s Team Insight.


I used the incense

you left in your inventory

Forgive me

It attracted so many pokes


I am sorry

But I am that asshole

Who isn’t paying attention

To you, or traffic, or myself


I am sorry

But the incense is working

And someday

I will have

Vulpix.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I'm your basic average girl, and I'm here to save the world.
We recommend