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Nintendo: Banned in the USA

BLOOD

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Behold: One of the last and most notable act of Nintendo censorship! Those who haven’t finished Ocarina since unwrapping the gold-shelled masterpiece in 1998 may not even realize that Ganondorf’s blood has been rendered a glorious green in subsequent Ocarina releases, from cartridge to the Virtual Console.

There are a zillion reasons to bitch about this, but for the sake of brevity, you’re only allowed to pick two in the comments:
-How was Nintendo above its own rules?
-Will the original, blood-red version remain exclusive to the N64?
-Why censor something millions already own?
-How is someone coughing up their own green guts less disturbing?
-Shouldn’t you’ve been spending more time on Majora’s Mask?
-This is all Wind Waker’s fault!

Super Castlevania IV

You’d think a series about vampires would’ve been given some leeway in terms of blood, but even Castlevania IV’s title screen was swabbed clean of plasma.

Plus, pits filled with red and “bloodish” liquid were also replaced with green ooze, even though Simon Belmont’s lungs will react to them all the same.

Street Fighter II

Though swollen leaky faces remained for SFII losers, chunky blood splashes were removed on the VS screen.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors

The Game Over screen in this LucasArts classic had to undergo serious purplefication.

Final Fight

A light mist of hemoglobin was replaced by a tiny explosion in console port of Capcom’s famous brawler.

Blackthorne

Instead of depicting realistic death, our hero dies in a pool of crude oil. It’s like Wages of Fear for babies!

Mortal Kombat

Oh, do we really need to talk about this again… Yeah, so the Nintendo palette-swapped the goop grey, called it sweat, blah, blah, blah. Both versions let you “Go Red” with codes anyway! And by the time MKII and the ESRB rolled around, all was right in Outworld and websites like us had something to consistently drag up.


ANIMAL CRUELTY

Ice Climbers

Younger gamers probably know Nintendo’s original Hammer Siblings as the adorably annoying characters from Smash Bros. But Popo and Nana actually began their careers bashing baby seals about the head in the original version of Ice Climbers. Unfortunately, America’s endangered seal clubbing scene was tepid at best, so these precious creatures were replaced by equally huggable Yetis in the US.

Wolfenstein 3D

On the next page, you may think Nintendo was kind to the Nazis of Wolfenstein, but look at the care they extended to man’s best bud. NoA felt that killing the deadly carnivorous puppies was a bit too much and felt far more comfortable allowing gamers to murder giant, hyper-aggressive rats.

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103 comments

  • Videogamer555 - September 2, 2012 5:09 p.m.

    Nintendo missed some things that "needed" censoring according to their strict standards. Some of which are in their OWN GAMES (like Zelda games and Kid Icarus)! You'd think they'd know the content of their own games well enough to know where the things that would "need" censoring (prior to shipping to the US) would be. But it seems they missed some things. Things Nintendo did NOT censor in their US game releases are: Princess Ruto in Zelda Ocarina of Time is fully naked in all versions of the game (1.0,1.1,1.2,gamecube, and probably virtual console as well). Crosses are present on all of the tomb stones in the grave yard in the NES Legend of Zelda game (and probably also on the Virtual Console version of the game). Crosses are present on both the normal and the large shield in the NES Legend of Zelda game (and probably also on the Virtual Console version of the game). In the game Kid Icarus for NES, in the final level (the sky level with Pit flying and using light arrows). There are several topless woman statues who look like the famous Venus De Milo statue. I'm guessing these weren't removed in the virtual console version either, but I could be wrong.
  • alex-mento - June 21, 2012 5:49 a.m.

    Lets point fingers!! Mhmm *FAGS* Hm Cough cough* Douches*
  • axelgarcia1 - November 1, 2009 5:09 a.m.

    lol good article
  • taylorte10 - August 25, 2009 11:07 p.m.

    it should be banned from the us
  • alex-mento - June 21, 2012 5:54 a.m.

    FUCK YOU.
  • doomdoomdoom - August 20, 2009 11:06 p.m.

    Fuck Nintendo Fuck Mario Fuck Metroid Fuck the Wii And go fuck wii owners that like Mario And Fuck Street Fighter 4 This is a message from The Wii Sucks Dick Corps.
  • CharLes14 - July 31, 2009 1:28 a.m.

    i always hated nintendo. SUCKS TO BE THEM! hehehe.
  • caboose4400 - July 30, 2009 12:19 p.m.

    this is why i dont play nintendo games that much except for mario cuz nintendo only belives in family fun and non hurtful games they rarely have violant games and how can one censor MK.....thats just not COOL!!!!
  • secretsearcher - July 29, 2009 8:20 p.m.

    wow. I typed random letters for the second half of my reCaptcha and it still worked.
  • secretsearcher - July 29, 2009 8:19 p.m.

    I think that Nintendo should of censored some of the nudity and stuff, but changing "Oh my God" to "Oh my car" is just ridiculous.
  • DeathbyFira - July 27, 2009 11:55 p.m.

    to think that now they are trying to make more aduilt games now and to think they cut all this good crap out lol
  • doomdude - July 27, 2009 1:52 a.m.

    who needs nintindo anyway *turns off DS* i mean they dont allow nudity screw them *turns off SNES, WII, GameCube*
  • IGiveUFunkButt - July 26, 2009 1:05 a.m.

    Did anyone notice on Wolfenstien 3d on the Nintendo the health bar/picture of your character has very red blood pouring down his face?
  • zeetlock - July 25, 2009 2:36 p.m.

    I don't think if I were playing those games (one from japan one from america) I wouldn't notice the differences that much maybe if I was looking for them (except for green blood in Zelda:OoT)
  • EndOfEternity - July 25, 2009 3:40 a.m.

    I hate censoring!!!So,unnecessary.
  • charley235 - July 24, 2009 4:18 a.m.

    i love this article, very creative
  • TheWebSwinger - July 24, 2009 2:16 a.m.

    Wait, Brett didn't write this? I'm shocked. Anyways, amazing article, ChrisBrett. And congrats on the Digg prominence.
  • AndyGiff93 - July 23, 2009 10:56 p.m.

    Wow some of those things are just pathetic. Cool article though, enjoyed reading it
  • Brutel - July 23, 2009 10:15 p.m.

    YES... I went back into my collection of N64 games and found out I'm lucky enough to own an uncensored Zelda: OoT with red blood O.o
  • maiden666 - July 23, 2009 8:41 p.m.

    dude there is a youtube video bout banjo kazooie and it shows stuff like that and worse its called banjo kazooie rated E ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpPnK2Bl0Pk

Showing 1-20 of 103 comments

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