NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams

It's important to mention the lasting appeal for of the original game, as you're likely to encounter a lot of excuses made on behalf of the new NiGHTs. After all, this is one of the more anxiously awaited updates in recent memory. But the truth is newcomers are going to dislike the exact same things the fanboys hate. And much of our collective revulsion can be aimed squarely at the new stuff, particularly the added stories and voice acting. It's not only unnecessary, it's also horrible - filled with the worst faux British accents as well as some of the most unintentionally creepy, cringe-inducing cut scenes ever, ever, ever!

Why the developers felt the need to justify the unparalleled joy of flying through elaborate dreamscapes with this drivel is beyond us, and it'll probably be the subject of plenty of ridicule throughout the internet (We're working on it!) The main character, NiGHTS, and his/her/its defiance for gravity was reason our aged Saturns reserved a coveted AV input, and the gargantuan Rune of a controller still commands a hefty sum on eBay... not the freakin' kids! And the game really drags whenever you have to take control of either physics-bound tots. Dull, lengthy and ugly have no place in NiGHTS game, consarnit.

Adding to the unfortunate newness... the motion controls aren't broken, but man, do they suck. You're supposed to point your Mindsight (fancy for "Circle") in the direction you want your Hermaphro-jester, but you allotted an extremely tiny field, and the self-rotating camera synonymous with the gameplay means that "direction" is constantly changing. Even the analog stick on the Nunchuck doesn't fare as well as the Classic controller. No big deal if ya got one, but still a disturbing trend currently bleeding across the Wii landscape.