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VIDEO GAME, MOVIE AND TV NEWS

New Soulcalibur IV characters will make you... horny?

We've been eagerly awaiting every new batch of Soulcalibur IV screens like baby pigs waiting for mama to flop over and give them breakfast (ask your mother if you don't understand the imagery). Why so eager? Because new shots always either reveal new characters in the gorgeous upcoming fighter or confirm returning favorites from previous games. Which is exciting because we played this game last week and it's sah-weet. Like candy, but with a bloody, metallic taste to it. Oh, and giant boobs, which we've never seen in a candy.

So, who are the latest skull-crackers whose souls still burn? First off, you're looking at Rock, nailing that "brawny barbarian who wears dead animals on his head" category in which so many games fall short. According to Wiki, his real name is Nathaniel. Yeah, we kinda always thought he was a caveman too.

Next comes Talim, whom you can see below clad in stylish puffy pants and pillow hat. She's a cutesy, acrobatic girl who fights with twin, bladed tonfa and could apparently control the wind until she was exposed to the evil Soul Edge's sword's negative energy (or something). But what really strikes us about Talim is that her mammaries aren't the size of flotation devices. It might be because she's underaged though, so we're not going to discuss it any further just in case it's illegal.

Finally, Yoshimitsu. What is there to say about this dude other than, "He's a medieval Japanese swordsman who wears a spooky mask and who lost an arm fighting Lord Nobunaga and replaced it with a wooden, cyborg-y one, which he uses to hold his katana - which is also named Yoshimitsu and which is demonically tainted?" So, a typical Soulcalibur character.

Oddly enough, that story is actually more boring than we expected - Yoshimitsu is often modeled like some kind of ghost cyborg or something. Still, as the only fighter whose costume seems to include a necklace made of tribbles, he's still one of our favorites.

Hit the screenshots link above to get these images and many more in all their glory.

April 24, 2008

About the Author
Eric Bratcher

I was the founding Executive Editor/Editor in Chief here at GR, charged with making sure we published great stories every day without burning down the building or getting sued. Which isn't nearly as easy as you might imagine. I don't work for GR any longer, but I still come here - why wouldn't I? It's awesome. I'm a fairly average person who has nursed an above average love of video games since I first played Pong just over 30 years ago. I entered the games journalism world as a freelancer and have since been on staff at the magazines Next Generation and PSM before coming over to GamesRadar. Outside of gaming, I also love music (especially classic metal and hard rock), my lovely wife, my pet pig Bacon, Japanese monster movies, and my dented, now dearly departed '89 Ranger pickup truck. I pray sincerely. I cheer for the Bears, Bulls, and White Sox. And behind Tyler Nagata, I am probably the GR staffer least likely to get arrested... again.