New Soulcalibur IV characters will make you... horny?

We've been eagerly awaiting every new batch of Soulcalibur IV screens like baby pigs waiting for mama to flop over and give them breakfast (ask your mother if you don't understand the imagery). Why so eager? Because new shots always either reveal new characters in the gorgeous upcoming fighter or confirm returning favorites from previous games. Which is exciting because we played this game last week and it's sah-weet. Like candy, but with a bloody, metallic taste to it. Oh, andgiant boobs,which we've never seen in a candy.

So, who are the latest skull-crackers whose souls still burn? First off, you're looking at Rock, nailing that "brawny barbarian who wears dead animals on his head" category in which so many games fall short. According to Wiki, his real name isNathaniel. Yeah, we kinda always thought he was a caveman too.

Next comes Talim, whom you can see below clad in stylish puffy pants and pillow hat.She's acutesy, acrobatic girl who fights with twin, bladed tonfa and could apparently control the wind until she was exposed to the evil Soul Edge's sword's negative energy (or something). But what really strikes us aboutTalim is that hermammariesaren't the size of flotation devices. It might be because she's underaged though, so we're not going to discuss it any further just in case it's illegal.

Finally, Yoshimitsu. What is there to say about this dude other than, "He's a medieval Japanese swordsman who wears a spooky mask and who lost an arm fighting Lord Nobunaga and replaced it with a wooden, cyborg-y one, which he uses to hold his katana - which is also named Yoshimitsu and which isdemonically tainted?" So, a typical Soulcalibur character.

Oddly enough, that story is actually more boring than we expected -Yoshimitsu isoften modeled like some kind of ghost cyborg or something. Still, as the only fighter whose costume seems to includea necklace made of tribbles, he's still one of our favorites.

Hit the screenshots link above to get these images and many more in all their glory.

April 24, 2008