New Portal 2 trailer introduces Aperture's consumer grade turrets

Oh no. Portal 2 isn't even out yet, but we're already building up a new, bigger arsenal of inside jokes. Just wait until it releases on the 18th... we'll be hearing Cave Johnson quotes for the next five years, at least.

In the latest trailer, the Aperture founder, who is voiced by J.K. Simmons, introduces us to the new 'consumer version' of Aperture's turrets. We always wondered how they stored so many bullets...

Apr 5, 2011




  • therawski - April 8, 2011 1:29 p.m.

    "Hi, Hello, Heellooo... indifferent... goodnight"
  • hybrid616 - April 6, 2011 9:51 p.m.

    is it just me, or is the babysitting turret meant to be a reference to VG cats? if so, then it just shows how savvy valve are, and i will love them and this game all the more!
  • Rivenscry - April 6, 2011 12:23 p.m.

    To the guy that was above me when I started typing this message: HELLZ YEAH. To all the people that say that TF2 is an item (or at least hat) whores paradise: SO? That is all.
  • OHMYGODIMONFIRE - April 6, 2011 3:27 a.m.

    I really hope they release this in TF2 on PC as an unlockable weapon for the engie as a marketing idea.
  • md1292 - April 6, 2011 1:25 a.m.

    That would be the greatest consumer product ever.
  • D0CCON - April 6, 2011 12:15 a.m.

    I loved it when they showed how they filled up the turrets with bullets. How do we fit so many bullets into a turret? Like this, whoomp.
  • Shagnasty - April 6, 2011 12:06 a.m.

    @FreedomPhantom Your children need pleasuring too. I spose if you're busy though... Also on the schematics, the Empathy Generator is directly followed by the Empathy Suppressor. lulz
  • VercettisShirt - April 5, 2011 11:18 p.m.

    I want the blue one.
  • Fiirestorm21 - April 5, 2011 10:27 p.m.

    That video is full of win. JK Simmons is a perfect match for Valve and the Portal games.
  • FreedomPhantom - April 5, 2011 10:20 p.m.

    I love this game more than any of my children. I want to pleasure this game.
  • super0sonic - April 5, 2011 10:02 p.m.

    The more i see the more scared i am. PLZ DON'T FUCK THIS UP VALVE
  • dcbernman - April 5, 2011 9 p.m.

    These guys are amazing. They make great games AND advertise them with the utmost class and hilarity.
  • longinus518 - April 5, 2011 8:27 p.m.

    why doesn't nerf team up with valve and make an aperture nerf turret? oh man, those would be ALL OVER my house XD
  • monkeyrevenge - April 5, 2011 7:41 p.m.

    Btw, at 37 seconds there are 2 screens briefly flashed with a bunch of ascii codes. If you run them through a ascii-code to text converter you get the following lines Screen 1: "Here's Da Beens, Dougtato:" "You found many." "Find the rest." "MiKaX sus FTW" Screen 2: "Also... superdinoman's mom" Just thought Id let you guys know
  • festafreak - April 5, 2011 6:07 p.m.

    I kinda did buy this game twice. The two pack on steam, then sent one to my cousin, my dad also bought two and sent one to a friend! Can't wait for this game. I've been honing my skills in project beta.
  • Robx - April 5, 2011 6:01 p.m.

    I'll buy this game twice
  • FlamingChaos35 - April 5, 2011 5:58 p.m.

    is it just me, or does that sound like Mickey Cantor from Monday Night Combat?
  • archangelceaser - April 5, 2011 5:47 p.m.

    How much are these? I'll take 2.
  • Daeshta - April 5, 2011 5:42 p.m.

    "Thats 65% more bullet, per bullet."
  • oddprophet - April 5, 2011 5:40 p.m.

    This video brings up a very valid question: WHY IS THIS NOT IN MY HOUSE?!

Showing 1-20 of 22 comments

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