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With his frilly clothes and little girl hair, Edward (“You spoony bard!”) from Final Fantasy IV is a self-admitted coward. Luckily for players of Final Fantasy IV, Anna’s death forces Edward to grow a pair and set out on epic adventures. But he needs a good deal of prodding, as seen in the video below.
Above: “I am a coward”
Pretty-boy cowpoke Irvine could have fixed the Edea problem with a single well-placed sniper shot at the end of FFVIII’s disc one. Instead, he simpers and fails and forces us to endure three more discs of Squall confronting his innermost feelings.
Above: Emo wussiness: 1, heroism: 0
A fluffy bunny would look like Braveheart next to Otacon. Sure, he’s good at doing science, but what use is that if he pees his pants at the first sign of ninjas?
A SNES title with one of the most pathetic protagonists you’ll ever play. He’s whiny, wimpy and more or less embodies every negative nerd stereotype out there. Early in the game, he’ll even run away from sea turtles in a fretful panic. Sure, he eventually became a stout-hearted hero type – but could anyone actually stand to play the game long enough to get there?
Above: It is Unlikely that you will enjoy playing as Lester
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