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    What would happen if video game characters applied for real jobs?

    13 Comments
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      g1rldraco7
      You guys forgot to put Link as a sword master to teach others. Rejected because he doesn't talk and that [...]
      You guys forgot to put Link as a sword master to teach others. Rejected because he doesn't talk and that fact he cuts up everything, thinking it as an enemy. Not to mention the piles of dead chickens hidden in a room.
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      Rub3z
      Niko Bellic: Application rejected... then suddenly approved. So funny. Even better is imagining Niko as a driving instructor. He'd put [...]
      Niko Bellic: Application rejected... then suddenly approved. So funny. Even better is imagining Niko as a driving instructor. He'd put a gun to the student's head and tell them to drive, lol. I imagine he'd also teach them well in the fine art of dodging police in a pursuit, and shooting out the window accurately while driving at the same time. I wonder how many ramps and jumps are included in a typical driver training session with Niko? Andrew Ryan: Application accepted. Andrew starts on Monday. Hooh boy. Guess we all know how the city of Hull will meet its end.
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      THETHINGABOUT Am I the only one who sees these comments emboldened?
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    Square Enix reports significant annual loss

    21 Comments
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      square-enix-origin
      They need to get back to creating good quality games, their plan is to stick to smartphone and app games? [...]
      They need to get back to creating good quality games, their plan is to stick to smartphone and app games? COME ON, how dumb are they? Denis, webmaster www.enixorigin.com
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      kirk-robertson
      I hope that all of you guys realize that neither ff13 or ff13-2 were in the last fiscal year, the [...]
      I hope that all of you guys realize that neither ff13 or ff13-2 were in the last fiscal year, the later was actually part of the year they were in the positive. Square Enix does a lot more games than final fantasies but all everyone here likes to do is just bash on 13/13-2. In fact here are some of the more popular games Square Enix titles released in the 2012 fiscal year(april 2102-march2013); Sleeping Dogs,Call of Duty:Black Ops 2, FF3/7 rereleases, Hitman:Absolution, Tomb Raider, and Kingdom Hearts 1.5 HD. Notice how none of those have anything to do with final fantasy 13 or the Fabula Nova Crystallis series. Another big thing is that they are literally throwing their own games under the bus. The only part that had decreased was the "division operating income" This unfolds as follows, Operating Income = Revenue - Cost of Goods Sold (COGS), Labor, and other day-to-day expenses. In other words they just had terrible management of their assets and then they try to blame it on the games not selling to make them not look as terrible. The fact is that the only reason for them not losing more money was how much the revenue increased from the year before.
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      foshizzle
      Well maybe its time to announce Kingdom Hearts 3 and actually release it instead of hiding behind cryptic messages, I [...]
      Well maybe its time to announce Kingdom Hearts 3 and actually release it instead of hiding behind cryptic messages, I mean come on hand held ports are fun and all but lets just release the third already.
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    What video game reminds us of our mothers?

    26 Comments
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      ChiChiRocket
      Dr. Mario always makes me think of my mom. It was the only game that she was better than me [...]
      Dr. Mario always makes me think of my mom. It was the only game that she was better than me at, and probably still is, as I'm crap at puzzle games. I'll never forget seeing the ending to the game after she beat the last level on the highest difficulty and max speed.
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      JokerJ0613
      Whenever I play Mario Kart I think of my mother. She used to play it with me when I was [...]
      Whenever I play Mario Kart I think of my mother. She used to play it with me when I was little, and have a heated competition with my father. Great memories... (My mother always won against my dad)
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      db1331
      Anytime I play something from the N64 era. I never did homework in school, so I was constantly getting grounded [...]
      Anytime I play something from the N64 era. I never did homework in school, so I was constantly getting grounded from something. My mom's favorite punishment was "No Nintendo." Instead of taking the console or even the games, she would tell me to wrap up the controller and put it in her room. After a month or two, once my grades showed improvement, she would give the controller back. She had no clue that I had gone to the mall and bought a second controller. I would just play it until she got home, then unplug my controller and hide it in my room. It went on for years. I told her about it after I was a grown man, and she smacked me on the back of the head and called me a little shit. Ocarina of Time reminds me of her more than anything else. I was too young for a driver's license yet, so she picked up my preorder on her way home from work. Up to that point, and maybe still til this day, I had never had a more agonizing wait for a game. I was walking home from my friend's house down the street and she pulled up to give me a lift the rest of the way home. I opened the bag and couldn't believe I finally had the game in my hands. She died from pancreatic cancer. She bought this "Cancer Sucks" bracelet online a couple months before. I was holding her hand when she passed, and I slid the bracelet off her wrist and put it on mine. I've worn it every day since. That was over 4 years ago. People who don't know what it is sometimes give me shit about it for wearing a purple bracelet, but you can imagine how little that bothers me. Now that I have a son of my own, I have somewhat of an idea of everything she did for me. I wish she was still around so I could tell her how much I appreciate it. I remember thinking it was funny when she cried like a baby during our dance at my wedding. Now that I'm a parent, I think I'm beginning to understand. And I still can't hear that damn Rod Stewart song we danced to without getting choked up. When you're a kid, your parents are just these people who vanish for 8 hours of the day, then come home and feed you. You think they do it because they have to. Truth is, they don't have to. And many of them don't. If you're lucky enough to have one of the good ones, I hope you realize the full extent of what they've done for you before it's too late.
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    10 examples of fan service that fans hated

    47 Comments
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      LBD_Nytetrayn
      I don't get the Avatar thing, myself. As for SFXT, that was just poor timing. What I really don't get [...]
      I don't get the Avatar thing, myself. As for SFXT, that was just poor timing. What I really don't get on this list, though, is the inclusion of Ryo in Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing. Everywhere I was reading about the game, people were happy for his inclusion, but upset that he wasn't driving his forklift instead of the motorcycle. So SEGA went and made an extra version of the character where he's driving the forklift at all times, and even produced a limited-edition model based on him driving it in the game. Granted, they still wanted Shenmue 3, but I don't remember them being terribly upset just because he was featured here.
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      JokerJ0613 I agree. I remember everyone being excited that he hadn't been completely forgotten.
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      tichtat
      I'm not even a Megaman fan, and I was still pissed about Street Fighter X Tekken. That seriously seemed like [...]
      I'm not even a Megaman fan, and I was still pissed about Street Fighter X Tekken. That seriously seemed like Capcom was intentionally spiting Megaman fans... Although after everything else, I can't really blame them.
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    Want gore, girls and f-bombs? Play The House of the Dead: Overkill!

    9 Comments
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      imagremlin
      Totallty agree, I still play this on occassion. I own both the Wii & PS3's, mostly preffer the PS3 one, [...]
      Totallty agree, I still play this on occassion. I own both the Wii & PS3's, mostly preffer the PS3 one, which is a treat in 3D. Didn't know it was mocapped, I always thought that lack of mocap was a nod to the unintentionally bad animation in older HotD titles. Favourite Washington quote: "No, I am not OK, @$$hole".
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      aJAWSOMEocelot I like this new feature. The end. Thank you for your time.
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      GamesradarsCamelToe
      --wii's zapper was one of the most awesome things wii had --especially on games that werent on rails --like COD [...]
      --wii's zapper was one of the most awesome things wii had --especially on games that werent on rails --like COD WAW and one or 2 more(a few rounds in links crossbow) --of course at the time i had a 52" with a massive sound system and woofer --turn out the lights, turn up the volume and go to war --it just never took off --i suppose back in those days most gamers were cramed in a small space --playing on a 32-42" tv --and having to be quiet
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    RadioRadar podcast 038: A place for hate

    50 Comments
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      crazycrudd
      I would like a third-person shooter, buddy cop game starring Han Solo and Chewbacca, Chewbacca being a by the books [...]
      I would like a third-person shooter, buddy cop game starring Han Solo and Chewbacca, Chewbacca being a by the books cop who gets stuck with the hotshot Han Solo, who doesn't play by the rules, after his previous partnered retired. It would also feature Admiral Akbar as the police chief who is always yelling at Han for his reckless ways. The plot would be that there have been assassinations of important political players and it is up to Han and Chewbacca to catch the assassin(s) and bring them to justice. Also, Chewy would be wearing full police uniform because when you are a cop you can't just walk around with no clothes on, this isn't Kashyyyk after all. Along the way we would see Han and Chewbacca's friendship grow strong because of what they have gone through together. There would also be Admiral Akbar in his office shouting to the heavens, "Soloooooooooooooo!" every time Solo go on his nerves.
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      Spieg89
      I would like to see one (or both) of these games made. First Republic Commando 2 by Danger Close. Second [...]
      I would like to see one (or both) of these games made. First Republic Commando 2 by Danger Close. Second a fully fleshed out Star Wars RTS (made by Maxis) that spans Prequels, Original, and New trilogies. Think about a screen filled dozens (if not hundreds) of Wookies, Storm troopers and battle droids all running at each other. Boom!
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      AqueousBoy
      Jesus, guys. I think this is the 2nd time you've referred to Persia as not being a real place. It's [...]
      Jesus, guys. I think this is the 2nd time you've referred to Persia as not being a real place. It's called Iran now, but it's real and it's not Saudi Arabia. And it's totally legitimate to still call it Persia and the people who live there, Persians.
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    Konami says Metal Gear Rising "sold steadily"

    9 Comments
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      BladedFalcon
      Hey, I'll take it! Sure, i would have loved for it to be a big hit, but realistically, a game [...]
      Hey, I'll take it! Sure, i would have loved for it to be a big hit, but realistically, a game like that was a bit of a hard sell. Anyway, I'm just happy that it wasn't considered a loss, because that would be another tragic blow to the awesomeness that is Platinum Games.
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      archnite
      Its great to know something good sold well and that keeps Platinum Games (and by extension Konaim) in business, but [...]
      Its great to know something good sold well and that keeps Platinum Games (and by extension Konaim) in business, but doesn't this kind of reporting speak more to stuffy suits in boardrooms and not the people who enjoy the art of video games?
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      BladedFalcon Well, it's slow news week, if you haven't noticed. May is a surprisingly barren month this year.
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    The five stages of griefing

    10 Comments
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      Fireninjastar I only need one step. /Give Fireninjastar26 46 64
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      PatHan-bHai DEEP! :P I only play online to troll! That's what online gaming is for. :D
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      JarkayColt
      Nice article, very...erm...enlightening. XD Griefing is why I stopped playing as many games online that require teamwork, because you always [...]
      Nice article, very...erm...enlightening. XD Griefing is why I stopped playing as many games online that require teamwork, because you always get that jerk who tries to spoil the fun for everyone by partaking in their own twisted version of humour. When you're playing something like Battlefield and the log in the corner is consistently showing instances of blue players meeting their demise at the hands of other blue players you have to wonder why anyone is even bothered about carrying on playing. And yes, I know griefing isn't exclusive to TK'ing, but that's what drives me up the wall the most.
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    Report: TimeGate lays off remaining staff

    4 Comments
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      THETHINGABOUT Timegate joining in the Week of Hate fun.
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      Child Of Death
      Its normally sad to hear about people losing their jobs but in this case I dont. No sane or smart [...]
      Its normally sad to hear about people losing their jobs but in this case I dont. No sane or smart developer would hire them either.
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      dlam omg is death really your dad???????? wowowoow
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    Shadow Warrior remake coming from Hard Reset developer

    4 Comments
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      dlam best comment -->
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      dlam
      YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO [...]
      YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG !!!! YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG YOU NO MESS WITH LO WANG
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      alex-roy-bristol But will it be as racist? :| (I hope it is, that original game was funny as SHIT!)
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