Mass Effect 3 romance guide

Kaidan Alenko

Race: Human

Role: Major

Preference: Females, but makes an exception for male Shepard in ME3

Personality: Stoic, thoughtful, vanilla

The human biotic with a dark past is back in Mass Effect 3, assuming you chose to keep him alive during the events of Mass Effect 1. In Mass Effect 3, Kaidan has the extremely awesome task of commanding a biotic-based covert ops unit for the Alliance, though he is quick to join Shepard and fight for the galaxy when the Reapers invade Earth. 

Note: Kaidan’s role in Mass Effect 3 is virtually identical to Ashley’s, as are the steps to romancing him.

Previously, on Mass Effect

Both new and imported female and male Shepards can romance Kaidan, but in the case of females, actions taken in previous games can complicate things. Kaidan will be suspicious of your motives early on in the game regardless of any previous relationships, but this resentment is multiplied if you ‘cheated’ on him during the second game. If that’s the case for you, make sure to follow the guide below carefully.

Romance Walkthrough

Kaidan is part of your squad for the Priority: Mars mission, and it’s during this time he’ll repeatedly bring up Shepard’s prior relationship with Cerberus. Avoid the aggressive Renegade responses, especially if you’re making up for being unfaithful in the second game.

There’s no way to prevent Kaidan from getting injured on Mars. He will be laid up in the hospital for a good chunk of the game, so it’s important to visit him when opportunities arise.

When you go to the Citadel after the Mars mission, make sure to stop by the hospital. While not absolutely necessary, you should also visit Sirta Supplies on your way and purchase the Peruvian whiskey gift for Kaidan. He’s unconscious at this time, but it will come in handy later. Don’t worry about specific dialog choices here; he can’t hear you.

After the Priority: Palaven mission, you should get a private message from Kaidan, who is awake and willing to see you. Now is your opportunity to present him with that whiskey, and you should be generally supportive here in order to regain his trust.

Above: No man... I*hic* love YOU

Kaidan will be back on his feet during the Tuchanka missions, and he’ll once again extend an invite via private message. It’s important that you visit him again at this time and continue the supportive dialog, or things could get quite messy the next time you two encounter each other.

At the end of the Priority: Citadel mission, Kaidan will be escorting Udina and end up in a standoff with Shepard. If you’ve done everything you can so far to nurture your relationship with Kaidan, you can get him to stand down very easily (if you are playing an imported Shepard), or with one bar of reputation (if you are playing new). If you can’t get Kaidan to stand down here, things get pretty ugly, and the road to romance will end.

There is a forced encounter with Kaidan just before returning to the Normandy. It’s here that you actually convince him to stay on your crew. He’ll gladly join if you’ve been friendly so far; if not, it will take some serious reputation points to convince him. It should go without saying that he needs to be on your crew if you wish to see this romance through. As soon as you’re back on the Normandy, pay a quick visit to the starboard observation deck and have a chat with Kaidan.

Closing the deal

After the Priority: Geth Dreadnought mission, Kaidan will send you a private message inviting you to dinner with him at the café on the Citadel. Choose favorable responses here and things will be all but wrapped up.

The real reason you’re here:

Once you’ve chosen to go ahead with the Priority: Cerberus Headquarters mission, the following scene between Shepard and Kaidan will take place:


  • 11eviathan - March 9, 2012 12:10 p.m.

    Absolutely loving that picture! Thank you for the laugh as always Gamesradar.
  • db1331 - March 9, 2012 12:48 p.m.

    I love how the husk looks all clingy and Shep looks like she just wants to get out of there. I told Diana to get lost from the get go. I think Chobot is attractive irl, but they made her look hideous in the game. She looks like she has Droopy Dog's face. It was all a bit too much uncanny-valley for me to have her on my ship.
  • ObliqueZombie - March 9, 2012 2:40 p.m.

    I hear that. Her cheeks look like she just had an allergic reaction to peanuts.
  • Al_Capwn - March 9, 2012 3:15 p.m.

    she looks like snooki
  • SentientSquidMachine - March 10, 2012 11:27 a.m.

  • Person5 - March 14, 2012 6:15 p.m.

    Shame I couldn't punch her when I rejected her, My Shep just hates reporters and people who lick video game controllers
  • DevonOO7 - March 9, 2012 1:29 p.m.

    I just beat the game.
  • JMarsella09 - March 9, 2012 1:57 p.m.

    Wow... Samantha's scene is terrible.
  • sutrebla15 - March 9, 2012 1:58 p.m.

    No Miranda Lawson in this game? :(
  • GhostbustTyler - March 9, 2012 2:33 p.m.

    She's in the game and you can have a relationship with her, but it's a long distance one, and I'm not sure if there is a romance scene. All I know is that you need to have a ME 2 save where you have a relationship with her.
  • SentientSquidMachine - March 10, 2012 11:40 a.m.

    They made up for it with Ashely...visually, still wanted to punch her in the face a couple of times though. And Jack's hot now.
  • majorsuave - March 11, 2012 11:22 a.m.

    Mini spoiler about Jack ------ Jack's hot as hell now... When I talked to her at Grissom Academy she said "You want to pin me against the wall of the cargo bay again?" Which my Carlos Sheppard did in ME2 before romancing Tali.
  • Al_Capwn - March 9, 2012 3:17 p.m.

    i stayed home from work tuesday to punish liara it was anal sex night on the normandy
  • agrizzl - March 28, 2012 5:28 p.m.

    Man.. That is the funniest thing iv ever heard
  • LEGOMatrix - March 10, 2012 4:14 a.m.

    That image is hlarious! I wish your love interest got turned into a husk at some point in ME3 now, but you could still "complete the romance"!
  • inkyspot - March 10, 2012 4:19 a.m.

    I romanced Miranda Lawson, so I guess I don't get to bang before the final mission, (Sad) That dude who takes care of the ships in the cardo bay tried to romance me in the club (what gives?) Needless to say, while I was flatered my male Shepard kindly turned him down ... lol
  • dakingzmen - March 10, 2012 6:38 a.m.

    ashley williams guide, 2nd paragraph: "Both new and imported female Shepards can romance Ashley, but actions you took in previous games can complicate things." I assume this is just a typo, or is it possible to romance ash as a femshep??
  • Matt Hughes - March 10, 2012 8:29 a.m.

    Oops, definitely a typo, thanks for the catch :)
  • Mishmonster - March 15, 2012 9:14 a.m.

    They finally made a FemShep, but they still didn't improve the romance options for her. They're crap! Three females, some not human; one human male that possibly didn't make it thru ME1; and a Turian? WTF??
  • Stegga - March 21, 2012 1:56 p.m.

    Has anyone actually kept Kaidan alive all the way through? Of all the people I know not a single one kept him alive in ME1. Although for my second playthrough I really don't want Ashley as a squad member, she's such a moany bitch

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