Subplots that swing both ways
Kelly, the new personal assistant aboard the Normandy, will flirt with a Shepard of either gender. To get her started, ask personal questions and when she talks about the trust exercise, tell her you'd do more than just catch her. If you keep up the saucy chatter throughout the game she'll eventually join you in your quarters for a private dinner. The meet-up occurs off screen, but the morning-after banter confirms that the two of you “stayed up late.” At this point, Kelly will say that she noticed your aquarium and offer to feed your fish for you when you're out on missions. “Staying up late” with Kelly doesn’t hurt your chances with anyone else you might be pursuing.
Above: Kelly Chambers: cuter than a button
To get to the Bonus Round with Kelly, you must first save her from the Collectors during the suicide mission. This is accomplished by chasing the Collectors through the Omega 4 relay immediately after they kidnap the crew (if you dick around doing side missions, the crew will be dead by the time you get to the Collector base.) After completing the mission, you’ll end up safely back on the Normandy with your surviving crew. Break up with your current love interest, then go do anything off ship. When you come back, Kelly will have sent you an email saying she’s been thinking about you. Go up to the Captain’s Quarters and call her. She’ll turn up in a skintight outfit and do a sexy dance for you. You can also have her sit on your lap and curl up with you in bed. Meow!
Ask Samara loads of personal questions between each mission till you get the option to ask about relationships and the Justicar Code. After a couple more conversations, you'll get the option to suggest becoming more than friends. Samara will go right up to the brink of a kiss, but will pull back at the last minute and call the whole thing off. Well, she is old enough to be your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother so maybe its better that the two of you don’t hook up.
Above: You can actually see the frame where Shepard’s mighty heart breaks
A note on Samara: We expect the relationship with Samara plays out exactly the same with a male Shepard, but have only tried it ourselves with a female character. If you opt to replace Samara with Morinth, pursuing a romance with Morinth is fatal (or so we’ve read on the internets).
Shepards of either gender can enjoy the charms of Asari dancers in the Afterlife club on Omega. You have the titillating option to [lean forward] and eventually even [tip]. In the bar on Ilium, be sure to eavesdrop on the Salarian’s bachelor party for a few guffaws. We can already hear you asking why strippers are part of a guide on romance. To answer that, we refer you to Mr. T-Pain, our nation’s foremost authority on romance in the modern era.
Above: Why save the galaxy when you can get wasted in a titty bar instead?
So what do you think? Are you satisfied with the romance options in Mass Effect 2? Let us know who you hooked up with (or wish you could hook up with) in the Comments!
Jan 29, 2010
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