Kingdom Hearts: the story so far

The Story So Far… Part Two

Sora, Goofy and Donald resume their quest to find Mickey and Riku, despite knowing damn well where they are (still inside Kingdom Hearts). They meet a cloaked stranger who entices them to come to a place called Castle Oblivion. While inside the castle, our heroes start losing their memories. It turns out the stranger belongs to a group called Organization XIII, which is made up entirely of powerful Heartless called Nobodies that look like rejected Final Fantasy character designs. One of them – Xemnas – has the brilliant idea to manipulate Sora’s memories so that he’ll continuously release hearts from Heartless with the Keyblade, which somehow fills up whatever Kingdom Hearts is, that in turn somehow benefits the Nobodies. Another Nobody – Marluxia – says balls to that and plans to use Sora to overthrow the Organization.

Meanwhile, Sora climbs up the castle, continuously losing his memories. He befriends a girl named Namine who wears underwear as outerwear – which is about as sexy as preteen 1980s Madonna cosplay gets. It turns out the Organization is using Naminé to wipe Sora’s memories, while another member – Axel – decides to foil the whole thing by introducing Namine to Sora to make her feel guilty. This eventually leads Sora to off the double-crossing Marluxia, playing into Axel’s scheme to move Saïx (another Nobody) up the chain of command. Then Naminé puts Sora, Goofy and Donald in a coma inside a flower to rebuild their memories. You know, as an apology.

While all of that’s going on, Riku and Mickey make it out of Kingdom Hearts and somehow Riku winds up in Castle Oblivion’s basement. As he fights his way out, he gains the nifty ability to change back and forth between Ansem and an older, blindfolded, emo version of himself. This comes in handy when he finds out about Sora’s coma and Naminé tells him the only way to wake him up is to take out some dude named Roxas.

Namine knows this because Christopher Lee – that is, some guy calling himself DiZ – tells her that when Sora was turned into a Heartless, a Nobody was created. Xemnas found that Nobody, gave him the name Roxas (which is “Sora” with an “X” in it – classy!) and a black coat and made him part of Organization XIII while Sora was busy having his memories hijacked. Xemnas keeps Roxas around because it gives him access to a Keyblade. Even better, another Nobody who can use a Keyblade (Xion) shows up, and Xemnas decides to recruit her, too.

Roxas starts off like a zombie, but rapidly develops a personality as he spends 358 and a half days eating sea salt ice cream in Twilight Town with Axel and Xion. Remarkably, he doesn’t gain any weight, but his non-heart is broken when Xion suffers an identity crisis after Riku tells her that she and Roxas are Sora’s Nobodies. You’d probably have one too if somebody told you you’re basically a substitute sack of meat that’s easily disposed of once you develop a personality. Eventually, both Xion and Roxas decide to ditch Organization XIII. Xion winds up dying and then Roxas and Riku throw down. At first, Roxas beats Riku, but then Riku turns into Ansem to knock Roxas out and bring him to DiZ and Namine.

Hang in there, we’re almost done.

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  • KHfan - September 22, 2009 6:49 p.m.

    why isnt it just called "kingdom hearts week" lolz loving week of disney so far btw
  • FalconMbuster - September 22, 2009 8:09 p.m.

    Oh, Kingdom Hearts. Mix Disney morality with Japanese story telling and you get... a confusing ball of what-the-f__. Recaptcha: I somehow got "five and one half" written numerically. Just refreshed that, XD
  • secretsearcher - September 22, 2009 8:22 p.m.

    WHAT. THE. HELL. This is the most convoluted story ever. Quoting Sora "I'm so confused already." I loved the video though.
  • Terro - September 22, 2009 8:42 p.m.

    Is it weird that I find this story easy to follow?
  • V13Dragongal - September 22, 2009 9:04 p.m.

    I love kingdom hearts and didn't kno that there was a chacter named Ventus. I think you could have explained it better but still good articale.
  • Amnesiac - September 22, 2009 9:11 p.m.

    Jesus Christ, my brain.
  • Cyberninja - September 22, 2009 9:19 p.m.

    i just dont get how birth by sleep fits in the story line. @cyberninja4 imitation is the most sincere form of flatery
  • BenL98 - September 22, 2009 9:22 p.m.

    "That's no moon."
  • Conman93 - September 22, 2009 9:24 p.m.

    WOOO. kingdom hearts week!! That story is probably as confusing as metal gear solid. Maybe. I havent played metal gear solid Axel is really cool!! Love his catchphrase. 'Got it Memorized'. LOVE THESE GAMES SOOO MUCH!!!
  • Charley235 - September 22, 2009 9:24 p.m.

    oh and save riku and the girl
  • G1drake - September 22, 2009 9:49 p.m.

    kingdom hearts is confusing thats why i love the series(i wish it could be on wii, i mean they released for gba and ds)
  • Bobbety - September 22, 2009 10:40 p.m.

  • FALLINGINFIRE - September 23, 2009 12:09 a.m.

    That's no moon xD ReCaptcha: fromairportinn suet
  • ShotgunEric374 - September 23, 2009 3:19 a.m.

    um i think it was clearer before i read this.... good start for those in the dark tho ReCaptcha: ridgely course an oman?
  • Life - September 23, 2009 3:33 a.m.

    That's no moon... I laughed so freaking hard.
  • mertor3190 - September 23, 2009 7:53 a.m.

    LOL. "THAT'S NO MOON" Freaking random. I followed the story well though and understood it. But i just spoiled the "358 days" one for me. CANNOT wait for Birth by Sleep
  • allthegoodnameswheretaken - September 23, 2009 3:16 p.m.

    Thats no moon.Ok I have never played a Disney game and I've never played a Final Fantasy game why should I play kingdom hearts some one convince me!
  • Corsair89 - September 22, 2009 6:58 p.m.

    I've played all the Kingdom Hearts games at least 3 or 4 times each(with the exception of 358/2 Days) and I can't explain the story very well. But, it is one of my all-time favorite series, and I will continue to get every game with it's name on it. Unless they ever spawn "Kingdom Hearts: Hannah Montana"
  • flare149 - September 22, 2009 7:01 p.m.

    Kingdom Hearts...Kingdom Hearts...Kingdom Hearts.... That's no moon! .....Kingdom Hearts Lol, after all the Kingdom Hearts stuff that was so awesome. Also one thing that may help some poeple, there's Ansem and Xeonort. Ansem is the old guy with the voice of Coutn Dooku and Xeonort is the guy in the painting, the "Ansem" Hearltess from the first game and the "Xemnas" Nobody from the second game. The real Ansem (old dude) has no Heartless of Nobody, Xeonort just beat his ass and stole his name and research
  • peace4me - September 22, 2009 7:07 p.m.

    What is kingdom hearts? They never explain it well in the games.

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