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Kick-ass powers that game characters forgot they had

Game: Lost Odyssey

Character: Kaim Argonar

In-game failing: Sudden onset of battle fatigue

The righteous ass-whuppery Kaim unleashes in Lost Odyssey's opening FMV is one of the most stirring, whoop-inducing introductions of a hero we've witnessed in years. He charges unstoppably through hundreds of enemies with the grace and brutality of a butterfly with a shotgun. He lays down one-hit kills at every angle without even looking. Corpse upon corpse piles up around him as he carves a lightning-speed furrow through the battlefield. "Huzzah!" we thought. "This guy is awesome. Let us play him now!"

But then at the crucial moment it all just seemed to get a bit too much for him...

 

Game: Earthworm Jim

Character: Earthworm Jim

In-game failing: Transportation

You'd think that it would be pretty hard to overlook the presence of a moped-sized rocket in your back pocket, but that's exactly what Jim does. Every level, until he's beaten the boss.

Hey guess what Jim, that rocket that you always fly to the next stage on? How about using it to fly through the next stage? Or even better, right to the end of the game. You'd save yourself a whole lot of hassle.

 

Game: Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness

Character: Kurtis Trent

In-game failing: Everything

If ever there was a character who's videogame report card would read "Must apply himself harder", it was Kurtis Trent. Introduced as an asymmetric, playable partner to Ms. Croft in Angel of Darkness, Kurt was a blade throwing, Force using, supernatural badass of legendary proportions, as you can see in the video below.

The only problem with his signature abilities? He couldn't actually use any of them in the game, reducing him to the state of a mind-bendingly pointless re-skinned Lara. Oh Kurtis, why do you even exist?

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8 comments

  • NellyDaHobo - October 30, 2011 4:22 a.m.

    Isn't the playable Ghost just Cortez in his body? So it would make sense that he can't fight the same.
  • Chaoscoolperson - October 30, 2010 1:48 p.m.

    The Dragon age Origins trailer looked BA but then the game was move over here, attack him in 5 seconds, oh yay you won.
  • devilmaycrygod - January 20, 2010 8:38 p.m.

    i have another one for the list, Vahalla knights, eldar saga. at the begining you could kill thousands of monsters or flash freeze them. when you play, it doesn't matter how strong you get, you are never goign to have that kind of power
  • Kytl - October 24, 2009 1:20 a.m.

    kinda related, but theres also Kurthnaga from Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn. he comes in in a short cutscene in dragon form where he charges up an awesome breath attack and obliterates part of a castle and sends the little enemy soldiers scurrying around like ants. then when you get to use him, hes starts weak compared to how awesome he was in the cutscene.
  • Stryde22 - September 15, 2008 1:02 a.m.

    XD at Jill Valentine...so true. those games have always been sloppy in the movements. As for Devil May Cry...the cutscenes were really the highlight of the entire series...shame that the anime series doesnt keep the same energy as the cutscenes do XD.
  • poncho7998 - September 12, 2008 7:01 p.m.

    I'd have to admit, I always thought about this, especally after playing the Devil May Cry series. Why can't we be a total bad ass when we finally get to use the controller? It is fun to watch though.
  • samownzsnake - March 4, 2009 3:04 a.m.

    lulz! i was wondering when TS2 would be mentoned in one of ur articles
  • ShadesofGrey - July 4, 2009 12:56 a.m.

    And what of our beloved Kratos? I'm pretty sure he was slinging one-hitters in all the cutscenes too, wasn't he?

Showing 1-8 of 8 comments

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