6 Nov 2007
Inspired by the latest comic offering from the always entertaining Penny Arcade folks (which imagines Assassin's Creed mangled with Animal Crossing to make Assassin's Crossing), we've concocted some of our own harebrained gaming hybrids.
Using two components - one part Nintendo game, one part A.N. Other - to make a single title that's never going to be made in a million years, here are half-a-dozen fantasy gaming cocktails for your mild amusement.
Note: Unfortunately we possess the artistic skills of an ADD afflicted six-year old so we can't illustrate our imaginary games quite as well as Penny Arcade
Above: And your mum said it would make you go blind...
Dead or Alive Xtreme Sight Training
Ingredients: Sight Training and Dead or Alive Xtreme 2
Dead or Alive Xtreme Sight Training aims to train users' eyes in areas like hand-eye coordination, peripheral vision and visual acuity by combining simple optical tasks with enormous virtual breasts. Whether running really fast or driving backwards down a one way street, Dead or Alive Xtreme Sight Training is perfect for almost anytime.
Some of the many fun activities in Dead or Alive Xtreme Sight Training include:
• Watching two pairs of incomprehensibly bouncy breasts on the screen, then tapping the touch screen to indicate which pair was the largest.
• Memorizing a target letter and counting how many times it appears in a fast-moving stream of letters while an enormous set of breasts appears on the screen to divert your attention.
• Identifying the matching nipples as a number of perky breasticles are momentarily displayed.