Is this the end of teabagging?

The beta for Halo: Reach multiplayer doesn't go live until May 3, but the alpha started last week. And already, the test team has run into some major, game-breaking problems. Check out this blood-chilling error report our sister site,CVG, discoveredon developer Bungie'snews feed:

Title: Teabagging / humiliation moves impossible
Type: Bug
Opened: 3/4/2010 8:53:13 AM

“The respawn camera flies back to the spawn location immediately after dying, so your opponents can't teabag / shoot / melee your body and have a possibility of you seeing it.”


Don't it always seem to go…

Yes,I suppose – technically – you can still teabag in Halo: Reach. If one man crouches over another man's face, however, and no one is there to see the beautiful act, are we sure it even happened? Does it even matter? And yes, Bungie will no doubt fix this bug before Halo: Reach releases… probably before the beta even debuts.

Still, faced with the horrifying, if temporary, possibility of a Halo without teabagging – of a world without laughter, really – I found myself looking back and reminiscing on the great history of this great ritual. Join me, won't you?

IN THE BEGINNING...


The literal, original and totally boring definition of the "tea bag." According to Wikipedia, the first were made from "hand-sewn silk muslin" and patented in 1903. This article is off to a fascinating start!

SOMETIME AFTER THAT


Boys are forced to wrestle each other in musky high school basements. The phrase "teabagging" is given new meaning within five seconds.

A NEW CENTURY, A NEW ERA


The original Halo makes online multiplayer accessible to everyone – even teenagers. The "crouch" button quickly becomes as crucial as the firing trigger, and the skill with which you kill your opponent is quickly overshadowed by the skill with which you humiliate his helpless corpse afterwards. The legacy of the Xbox is born.

TEABAGGING GOES HIGH-TECH


Halo 3 introduces Saved Films, which allows you to pause, rewind and record multiplayer action from virtually any angle. Google Image searches for the words "tea" and "bag" are never the same again.

EVERYONE JOINS IN


The internet starts liking things ironically. Suddenly, teabagging is hilarious to everyone, not just 13 year-old boys.

HISTORY IS MADE


GamesRadar smells traffic in the water and, thus, the greatest video ever created…is created.

TEABAGGING OFFICIALLY JUMPS THE SHARK


Teabagging is co-opted by angry tax party protestors, as well as by those who wish to mock them. Teabagging is discussed on CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. Teabagging is sold at conventions by middle-aged ladies and retired veterans. Teabagging is no longer cool.

AND THEN THIS HAPPENS...



I notice a rather random and meaningless bug report on Bungie's forums and attempt to write an entire article on the topic. The results are pretty stupid, but at least this guy is no longer the final word on teabagging:



Mar 8, 2010