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Interactive porn: Finally, Kinect might become useful to grown-ups

Biggest problem with Kinect: A glut of puddle-deep party games designed for the under-eights and the over-impressed.

The solution: More mature experiences for the system.

According to one Kinect hacker, the potential is there, but he's probably not talking about the kind of mature you were expecting...

Kyle Machulis, of NFSW sex and tech blog slashdong has been looking into Kinect's potential as facilitator of interactive porn, and although he's had mixed results, he reckons there it's possible. The main problem with using Kinect's motion capture for full blown "Your wang is the controller" action is that it isn't set up to register anything that small. Don't be embarrassed. I'm not talking about you personally. It's just that Kinect is all about limbs and torsos and stuff, rather thab less prominent body parts. Hey seriously, don't worry. It's been pretty cold lately.

Thus, you'd have to get seriously close to the camera in order to get a useable signal, and with bits of anatomy overlaid closely with others there's some major distortion in-bound. But there is hope for those wanting to control digital dirt-vision with their hands-free motion controller, though it might not strictly be a hands-free solution. Kinect is good with gestures, so while polishing one's spam-javelin for battle might be slightly too intimate an action to use without careful coding, it's entirely possible that Kinect can "know you are masturbating, and use that information to control shit".

Exploring Kinect's real-time avatar-mapping abilities - already seen in plenty of its launch games - Machulis adds that Kinect "can also make bad 3D porn of you while you masturbate and control, or it can overlay cartoony shit on you so you don’t have to be you while you’re doing whatever it is you do to yourself." And while results are sketchy at the moment, he fully expects "we’ll see [hacked] kinect porn and possibly kinect skype services within the month"

Just in time for fun and games with the family after Christmas dinner then. Who's hot for this?

Topics

Microsoft

22 comments

  • onewingedantista - December 2, 2010 3:51 p.m.

    Rule 35 hits Kinect.
  • Robusken - December 2, 2010 1:48 a.m.

    Dammit Spam Javelin...thats genius!
  • Doctalen - December 2, 2010 12:59 a.m.

    Rule 34: If it exists, porn shall be made out of it.
  • MrDuracraft - December 1, 2010 9:41 p.m.

    I love how that last quote goes from "Your motion sensor game can be used for porn" to "You can probably do some calling with that shit."
  • AlSwearengenHatesCocksuckers - December 1, 2010 9:33 p.m.

    Sniper141 - "This isn't what it looks like!.....Ok. It is."
  • AlSwearengenHatesCocksuckers - December 1, 2010 9:31 p.m.

    I can see many lonely men air humping a pillow or blowup doll to some anime chick on the screen. Please don't do this. I have enough shame on my conscience already without being too weak to not buy this.
  • Markstone - December 1, 2010 9:11 p.m.

    It would definitely help sell the Kinect :P
  • RXRob - December 1, 2010 8:23 p.m.

    I hate to be picky, but the last line before the picture looks like it may have been typed one-handed.
  • Vulneratus - December 1, 2010 7:25 p.m.

    Maybe the 'Game Over' screen could dispense tissues and a cigarette... But seriously, this does kinda open up horrific possibilities... "Kinectimals: Beastiality Edition!!" ... lets just leave it there and not dig any deeper in Kinect's past shall we! Fleshlight peripherals are just round the corner... , what a sick sick world we live in.
  • Sharkbot - December 1, 2010 6:14 p.m.

    Kinectiporn anyone?
  • HarryBalls - December 1, 2010 5:32 p.m.

    fap fap fap fap fap fap fap... fap... fap... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I don't feel like playing anymore. *sleeps*
  • CapnDuran - December 1, 2010 4:39 p.m.

    " so while polishing one's spam-javelin for battle might be slightly to ointimate an action to use without careful coding, it's entirely possible that Kinect can "know you are masturbating, and use information that to control shit"." Beautiful stuff. Just beautiful.
  • Robx - December 1, 2010 4:34 p.m.

    I'm surprised this crap wasn't made in Japan.
  • ExcessGiraffe - December 1, 2010 4:29 p.m.

    "while polishing one's spam-javelin for battle" Quote of the year.
  • yoreAtowel - December 1, 2010 4:20 p.m.

    Ive always said since i was little. "if my (gaming console) could dispense delicious drinks, and have a hole for me to *ahem* than i would never leave my house" It looks like this is a step to my sad sad dream.
  • sniper141 - December 1, 2010 4:19 p.m.

    Imagine having a porn game and you parents/relative/partner walks in
  • sniper141 - December 1, 2010 4:18 p.m.

    I know what i want for christmas
  • Darth_Griffin - December 1, 2010 4:15 p.m.

    this made me rofl. It's funny how when something like Kinect comes out the first thing people think of is "OMG, HOW CAN THIS BE ADAPTED FOR USE WITH TEH PR0NZ?!?"
  • ShaneCedt - December 1, 2010 4:14 p.m.

    Air humping the kinect device...Actually glad this christmas season is so devoid of new titles, time for me to catch up.
  • Brizee - December 1, 2010 4:14 p.m.

    Just in time for fun and games with the family after Christmas dinner then. Who's hot for this? Toshi.Shimizu - 1 minute 55 seconds ago I like the idea. Lol ^^

Showing 1-20 of 22 comments

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