Drink lots of coffee
The Oscars are airing exclusively on Sky Movies Premiere on Sunday 7 March at 1am. Yeah, slap bang in the middle of the witching hour.
Usually you’d be tucked up in bed, but this is a special occasion. So you’ll need to do things a bit differently this Sunday to ensure that you stay awake for the entirety of the show.
Tips: take a mid-afternoon cat nap (3-5pm will do you a world of good), then drink a shitstorm of coffee/coke/red bull. Should do the trick. Also, book Monday off work.
Hold an Oscar party
You can’t make it to LA, so bring LA to your house!
Guests have to dress up either as one of the nominees or a character from one of the nominated films (we’re guessing there’ll be a lot of blue bodypaint getting rubbed onto the walls this year).
Make your own golden statuettes using old shampoo bottles (or something, we’re not Blue Peter , alright?) and give out awards throughout the night for different categories (Best Dressed, Worst Dressed etc).
Also, novelty food and drinks rule.
Watch stay-up-all-night films
If you’ve got an aversion to caffeine (poor thing), you may want to skip the first idea.
How about a little retinal stimulation, instead?
Films guaranteed to get you wired: Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas , Suspiria , Hedwig And The Angry Inch (fun factor!), Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind , Trainspotting , Inland Empire .
If you’re feeling particularly desperate, shove on the original Disney animated Alice In Wonderland ; you won’t sleep for weeks after that.
Go clubbing, come home
Ever get that thing where you go clubbing, feel knackered, come home, and can’t sleep ‘cos you’re too wired? Let’s put that to good use on Oscar night.
Go out for a regular night of partying, drink the tipple of your liking (not too many now, we don’t want to get carried away), ignore that fit bird/bloke across the dancefloor (you’ve got places to be!). Then come home, get comfy on the sofa, and let the magic unfold.
Warning: could result in mid-show slump. Bolster with a caffeine hit if your eyelids start to droop.
Have a drinking contest
Let’s be honest here for a minute. The acceptance speeches can, on occasion be boring. The pre-award pre-amble can be dull as soapy dishwater. And they don’t really get to the really good awards ‘til halfway in.
So let’s spice proceedings up a little with some drinking games. Here are a few to get the ball rolling. Take a shot every time:
Somebody thanks God Almighty, their mother, or their lover. Steve Martin makes a joke that bombs. Somebody mentions that Bigelow and Cameron were once married. Avatar gets mentioned at all.
Play spot the Hollywood has-been
Really, they’ll let anybody into the awards these days. Suppose they’ve got to get bums in seats.
Well, let’s capitalise on that by playing a really mean-spirited game where we have to pick out anybody in the audience who hasn’t made a decent in film in, like, forever.
So... Jason Biggs, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kate Hudson, Hugh Grant, Harrison Ford.
Keep tally, and whoever gets the most spots wins something really amazing to be decided on the night.
Follow us on Twitter
We're as excited as you about this year's Oscars (even if the results seem pretty pre-destined).
So we'll be Tweeting 'til our fingers hurt all the way through the show.
If you've not got Sky at home, this will be the best way to keep up-to-date on just who's getting their clammy palms on those shiny trophies.
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Brush up on your Oscars trivia
Got mates coming over to watch? Show what an amazing film fan you are by dropping Oscars trivia here, there and everywhere.
Who won the Best Actress award in 1976? How much does an Oscar statuette weight? Where was the first ever Oscars ceremony held? Just who the hell is Oscar?
Warning: could lead to you becoming a human punch bag for being such a smart arse.