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How to Survive a Zombie Invasion

Do you like being dead? If your answer is "no," read this NOW

Words: on July 17, 2009
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124 comments

  • Turkeykilla7 - July 18, 2009 11:59 a.m.

    Wow this is the best Zombie guide iv seen. This is why I bought my Desert Eagle 50 AE just so I could look cool shooting zombies. Just stay away from the Glock 17. I just dont trust those 9mms. Go with the G21, its a 45. and holds 13+1. ZOMBIES ARE THE BEST!!

  • Makk_Mizzy - July 18, 2009 12:02 p.m.

    I am known for picking off bogies with headshots, so I need NO survival guides trying to inform me on what to do about zombies and etc. because if I don't have a gun at the time, I will definitely run because I have great cardio and I run fast. Its very rare for me to be out and about without my GUN, I would really have so much fun if zombies did try to emerge and take over EARTH, I would have a pretty high kill count, everyone would try to clique up with me, and that's fine because Im loyal and trustworthy so if you get captured by a swarm of zombies and they start nawing of your flesh I will simply put a bullet in their heads and yours as well, now If that ain't a real friend I don't know what is!

  • speno93 - July 18, 2009 1:31 p.m.

    lawnmowers are also good, now excuse me as a zombie is putting its hand through my window and it is rather hard trying to dodge its rotted flesh and dirty, overgrown claws and trying to type at the same time. BLAM!!!!! oh great! its dead but it released some kind of horrible bile all over my screen.oh well, no harm done and i can clean it off. Hey, whats that sound? oooh crap!

  • DontEatRawHagis - July 18, 2009 1:40 p.m.

    I need a robot uprising survival guide. Everyone knows how to deal with the undead but no one knows how to deal with a ten ton deathbot with only a spoon at your side.

  • oryandymackie - July 18, 2009 3:29 p.m.

    You were right about zombies making a grand entrance. One arrogant brainlicker strolled through blood-spattered double doors with two dead punters blowing trumpets at the side. Hot lead generally deals with the problem.

  • MechGyver - July 18, 2009 4:03 p.m.

    @CosmicSmeghead people infected with zombieness...dumbass <:)»

  • zayleffein - July 18, 2009 4:32 p.m.

    If zombies ever attack my town I have an arsenal of tools, guns and ammo, propane tanks, and chainsaws(plural). If it happens, come over! Oh and thanks GR for confirming my inherent fear of zombification of our world. I need to go buy another gun now.

  • Silvermech - July 18, 2009 4:46 p.m.

    I feel I have slight chances to survive. Except I have two sets of glass doors, I'M OPEN FOR ATTACK! I'm moving to the mountains.

  • mfwahwah - July 18, 2009 4:55 p.m.

    Zombie outbreaks / survivals. And you were talking about trite! *scoff* Melissa smathers

  • McDoobie - July 18, 2009 5:08 p.m.

    Spartan523 is gay

  • Turkeykilla7 - July 18, 2009 6:10 p.m.

    In Night of the Living dead the Zombies had guns. Atleast i think that was the name. Thats one of the things that could really screw us over. Gun weilding zombies and those crazy fast zombies like in Dawn of the Dead. Slow zombies would be easy though. Just board up your windows and doors. go sit on the roof with a scythe and just go to work. Save bullets for tight spots.

  • pandasrock - July 18, 2009 8:27 p.m.

    this is me usaully with my freinds "okay guys we gotta stay togeher" "nah if we split up we will cover more ground" they run off i hear something turn around and see tank (they let him in and ran off towards me) after i kill him i run away and in exactly one minute into the match i find out they all died by zombies and i laugh

  • Fizzmonkey - July 18, 2009 8:51 p.m.

    everyone thinks a zombie invasion will be fun. You won't think so when it actually happens. -and it WILL happen.

  • thomashalpenny - July 18, 2009 10:15 p.m.

    Tip: Tape an LED keychain light to your buddy’s back for a great practical joke thats sum of the funniest shit i've heard in a long time!! :)

  • Yeager1122 - July 19, 2009 1:19 a.m.

    Protect your braiiiinnnnssss

  • deathrebellion - July 19, 2009 2:44 p.m.

    i remember reading many ways to escape a Zombie Apocalypse in some site a couple of months back and frankly its stupid anyway if Zombies r gonna become real i see no harm in saying that we might as well get superpowers and Mutants by then so it'll be a full scale war between Zombies and Humans/Humanoids/Mutants,etc,,,,.....

  • jar-head - July 19, 2009 7:36 p.m.

    Zombie invasion? I just used that against my blood sucking mother-in-law....and it worked!

  • TheWebSwinger - July 19, 2009 9:55 p.m.

    I think you already know this, but this is a fantastic article. P.S. Happy Tyler Picture is back!

  • reroxas - July 20, 2009 12:07 a.m.

    If there is a zombie invasion I am screwed harder than a pretty boy in prison one rifle and an unholy amount of power tools oh no but seriously I would still die one rifle and a lawnmower don't tend to work so well

  • AlphaAGENT144 - July 20, 2009 1:17 a.m.

    the only way to survive is to be An Hero

Showing 21-40 of 124 comments

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