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How to play World of Warcraft properly

Pro Tip 3: Never read quest logs

This tip goes against everything years of gaming has instilled in you. When an NPC asks you to do something, you’re usually supposed to at least skim over what he says. But as you continue playing WoW, you’ll find that just about every quest can be distilled down to the following set of tasks:

1. Click on the quest giver
2. Go somewhere
3. Click on some mobs till they die
4. Loot the items the NPC wants from said mobs’ corpses
5. Return to the NPC for your reward
6. Move on to the next quest


Above: Never read quests. Let QuestHelper’s convenient map icons and arrows show you the way

For example, you could skim the quest log to gather that you’ll need to head north to kill Mottled Boars until you find some boar meat to bring back to the quest giver. But this wastes valuable seconds! Wouldn’t it be great if someone made an add-on that shows you exactly where these Mottled Boars spawn? Wouldn’t it be convenient if there was an arrow showing you exactly where to run, telling you how far way you are from the juiciest boar spawn points?

Thanks to add-ons like QuestHelper, you’ll never have to immerse yourself in a world of fantasy while playing World of Warcraft again. Its utilitarian additions to your UI will increase your questing efficiency exponentially and serves as a welcome reminder that each completed quest is just another drop in the bucket of tasks for you to work on.


Pro Tip 4: Asking questions is a sign of weakness

I’m sure that at some point in your life, someone told you that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Well, in WoW every question is a stupid question. You should never, under any circumstances, ask a question in WoW. Don’t ask questions in guild chat. Don’t ask questions when grouped with other players. And for goodness sake, never voice a query in a public chat channel. Asking questions is not a sign of an intelligent and an inquisitive mind; it’s sign of laziness and weakness. Fortunately, just about every arcane and commonsense question you have about the game can be answered with the help of Google and WoWWiki.com. Take this, for example.


Above: Tag the word “wow” to the end of any question and you will find an overly detailed answer on WoWWiki.com


Pro Tip 5: The Trade channel is NOT for trading

Another truism that flies in the face of everything years of gaming has taught you. The trade channel is one of WoW’s few global chat channels that can be accessed from any capital city within the world of World of Warcraft. It’s meant to be a place where people can advertise items they’d like to sell or buy. Of course, it would make way too much sense if people actually used the Trade channel to do trading. So here’s a helpful list of acceptable and practical Trade channel activities.

1: Look for a group for instances or raids
2: Post Chuck Norris jokes
3: Complain about Chuck Norris jokes
4: Accuse a player of being a loot ninja
5: Accuse someone - who’s accusing you of being a loot ninja – of being a liar
6: Accuse a player that’s looking for a group of having low DPS
7: Accuse someone – who’s accusing you of having low DPS – of being a douchebag
8: Accuse anyone trying to sell bind-on-equip epics on the Trade channel of being a Chinese gold farmer
10: Beg for runs through low level instances
11: Make fun of people begging for runs through low level instances
12: Make homophobic, sexist, or racist jokes
13: Type “reported” every time someone makes a homophobic, sexist, or racist joke – but don’t actually take the time to report them to Blizzard’s customer service team.


Above: Trolling, flaming, and spamming are all acceptable uses of the Trade channel. But don’t even think about trying to use it to trade 


Conclusion: Congratulations! You’re still a noob!

We’ve got tons of other pro tips up our sleeves that we could share with you. But quite frankly, if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably a lost cause. May we suggest a game that’s less complicated instead? Have you considered exploring the Final Fantasy series? Are you aware of Tetris? No offense, but it’s probably best that you go back to basics. Oh, and by the way, you’re welcome.


Bonus Pro Tip: Other players like it when you stand on top of the Flightmaster in Dalaran with your War Mammoth

Aug 13, 2009


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66 comments

  • ds9kirys - June 23, 2014 10:36 a.m.

    Somewhat useless but terribly amusing. Thanks for the chuckles!
  • yolanda89 - August 5, 2012 7:48 p.m.

    this is a good guide for the beginers, thanks you can also get some guides from wow.farmer100
  • Anonymous93 - August 21, 2009 12:18 a.m.

    Everyone has to stop taking adadadad so seriously, he's actually real funny then. He's trying to get those reactions from you.
  • narojima - August 17, 2009 9:52 p.m.

    ah man i totaly agree with you
  • DeathbyFira - August 15, 2009 10:11 p.m.

    LOL that is what i use the trade chat for lol and that is the only fun thing and stupid thing to do is make fun of higher players by telling them i may be a noob but i at least have a life jackass it works evry time lol
  • Turkeykilla7 - August 15, 2009 10:51 a.m.

    Onyxia Whipe Animation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtvIYRrgZ04 Seriously anyone who has ever played wow or even heard of wow will think this is hilarious. Like laughing out loud funny.
  • pinoklin - August 15, 2009 6:09 a.m.

    HORDE FTW AGREED--alliance is filled with kids and preteens....horde rules by all means go horde....ull never regret ur decision....plus the horde has zombies and god knows that only aliens beat them and no those gay draenei that couldnt even drive their on spaceship so they crashed dont count...orcs in the other hand are aliens too and are green and look badass if they6re warrios in prot..HORDE FTW
  • secretsearcher - August 15, 2009 4 a.m.

    @adadadad Firstly, I think your CAPS LOCK is broken. You might want get that fixed. And secondly, what the hell is up with your comments?
  • YuGiOhisbetterthanMagic - August 14, 2009 8:44 p.m.

    not only dose WoW suck, but kight online, witch is a total carbon copy of wow, is free! however, both suck, and playing either is not advised
  • gatornation1254 - August 14, 2009 7:20 p.m.

    I have never played World of Warcraft but I still find these very entertaining. I did play Runescape for a few weeks when I was 10 though.
  • Turkeykilla7 - August 14, 2009 6 p.m.

    @ HeavyTank, wow players think that Wow is the best game ever becuase it actually is the best game ever. Its the perfect game that never ends. Its designed perfectly, they make it so it takes literally MONTHS of gameplay to actually get anywhere. The worst thing is you can never really look back and say, Man I have an awsome character with awsome weapons because your gear is never quite good enouph to satisfy your lust. Then if by chance you are satisfied with your gear theres all this side stuff like Buying Mounts, getting titles, fun trinkets, and grinding for Gold. The only reason I quit playing is becuase I realized I was working (Grinding for Gold) more on wow then at my actual job. When you go to bed at 2 A.M. after a nice long raid and then wake up for Work at 4 A.M. it dosent make for a very good day. Beleave me if I didnt have to work, spend time with family, or have friends i would be playing wow to this day. Check out my old character Names Minator on Nazjatar. I gave the account to a friend from Highschool. he still plays it :( IM SORRY RANDY!!!!
  • Geminiman82 - August 14, 2009 5:59 p.m.

    I went to detox for my WOW addiction and haven't played in a long time but this is FUNNY!
  • deaze - August 14, 2009 3:33 p.m.

    okay raiding.. is horrible now pre-bc owned.. there is no more 40 man raids. and if there was a pre-bc wow only i would play that over lich king. and this dude is so dumb. ppl come to wow to get away. and i hate my family in and out the game...
  • HeavyTank - August 14, 2009 2:37 p.m.

    I agree with TurkeyKilla, NEVER play WoW if you think you have a life. You won't have if you start playing it. I never played it and l obesrve how WoW players act...they're just ridiculous..they think that WoW is the best game ever and they spend 1 year of their life to get an imaginary weapon...that's pathetic to say the least.
  • Yeager1122 - August 14, 2009 5:16 a.m.

    Just like everyone else is saying tried this game thought it was boring as hell never played again.
  • someonetgsn - August 14, 2009 1:35 a.m.

    ha, i stopped playing WoW when i found out pro tip one! figured it wasnt for me at that time. =p
  • uz_mike222 - August 14, 2009 12:04 a.m.

    lol, though i never played WoW and i hope i don't, i thought it was a good article and some of these can be used for other RPG's like MapleStory or Runescape. But i know one MMORPG will beat WoW when it comes out is the knew Star Wars: Knights of the Republic RPG that's coming out. Jedi Order HERE I COME!!!
  • Koouunn - August 13, 2009 11:54 p.m.

    lol tip #5 is the best and most funniest tip ever. nice job on the article
  • Curtis_Stone - August 13, 2009 11:02 p.m.

    This is hilarious... "- Players who identify with the “good guys” suck." Too true, too true!! *DUGG*
  • Turkeykilla7 - August 13, 2009 9:59 p.m.

    Im no hater, I loved wow, but it hated me.

Showing 1-20 of 66 comments

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