Pro Tip 3: Never read quest logs
This tip goes against everything years of gaming has instilled in you. When an NPC asks you to do something, you’re usually supposed to at least skim over what he says. But as you continue playing WoW, you’ll find that just about every quest can be distilled down to the following set of tasks:
1. Click on the quest giver
2. Go somewhere
3. Click on some mobs till they die
4. Loot the items the NPC wants from said mobs’ corpses
5. Return to the NPC for your reward
6. Move on to the next quest
Above: Never read quests. Let QuestHelper’s convenient map icons and arrows show you the way
For example, you could skim the quest log to gather that you’ll need to head north to kill Mottled Boars until you find some boar meat to bring back to the quest giver. But this wastes valuable seconds! Wouldn’t it be great if someone made an add-on that shows you exactly where these Mottled Boars spawn? Wouldn’t it be convenient if there was an arrow showing you exactly where to run, telling you how far way you are from the juiciest boar spawn points?
Thanks to add-ons like QuestHelper, you’ll never have to immerse yourself in a world of fantasy while playing World of Warcraft again. Its utilitarian additions to your UI will increase your questing efficiency exponentially and serves as a welcome reminder that each completed quest is just another drop in the bucket of tasks for you to work on.
Pro Tip 4: Asking questions is a sign of weakness
I’m sure that at some point in your life, someone told you that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Well, in WoW every question is a stupid question. You should never, under any circumstances, ask a question in WoW. Don’t ask questions in guild chat. Don’t ask questions when grouped with other players. And for goodness sake, never voice a query in a public chat channel. Asking questions is not a sign of an intelligent and an inquisitive mind; it’s sign of laziness and weakness. Fortunately, just about every arcane and commonsense question you have about the game can be answered with the help of Google and WoWWiki.com. Take this, for example.
Above: Tag the word “wow” to the end of any question and you will find an overly detailed answer on WoWWiki.com
Pro Tip 5: The Trade channel is NOT for trading
Another truism that flies in the face of everything years of gaming has taught you. The trade channel is one of WoW’s few global chat channels that can be accessed from any capital city within the world of World of Warcraft. It’s meant to be a place where people can advertise items they’d like to sell or buy. Of course, it would make way too much sense if people actually used the Trade channel to do trading. So here’s a helpful list of acceptable and practical Trade channel activities.
1: Look for a group for instances or raids
2: Post Chuck Norris jokes
3: Complain about Chuck Norris jokes
4: Accuse a player of being a loot ninja
5: Accuse someone - who’s accusing you of being a loot ninja – of being a liar
6: Accuse a player that’s looking for a group of having low DPS
7: Accuse someone – who’s accusing you of having low DPS – of being a douchebag
8: Accuse anyone trying to sell bind-on-equip epics on the Trade channel of being a Chinese gold farmer
10: Beg for runs through low level instances
11: Make fun of people begging for runs through low level instances
12: Make homophobic, sexist, or racist jokes
13: Type “reported” every time someone makes a homophobic, sexist, or racist joke – but don’t actually take the time to report them to Blizzard’s customer service team.
Above: Trolling, flaming, and spamming are all acceptable uses of the Trade channel. But don’t even think about trying to use it to trade
Conclusion: Congratulations! You’re still a noob!
We’ve got tons of other pro tips up our sleeves that we could share with you. But quite frankly, if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably a lost cause. May we suggest a game that’s less complicated instead? Have you considered exploring the Final Fantasy series? Are you aware of Tetris? No offense, but it’s probably best that you go back to basics. Oh, and by the way, you’re welcome.
Bonus Pro Tip: Other players like it when you stand on top of the Flightmaster in Dalaran with your War Mammoth
Aug 13, 2009
Welcome to the Week of Geek
Join us for a celebration of all things uber-nerdy
GamesRadar’s Shark Week
Bite the bait and feast on all things shark
Gaming’s most evil pranks
Ruin a funeral, make kids cry, trap your teammates, and more