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How to be a better fanboy

The background:

Everybody, everybody loves them. Nintendo fans exist at opposite ends of the spectrum – hardcore fans who've still got their N64s, post Mario speedruns on YouTube and tell everyone listening that Ocarina Of Time's the best game ever made... and people who'd never played a game before they had a go of Wii Bowling. With the Wii refusing to get in the my-processor's-bigger-than-yours one-upmanship that demeans the other consoles, it's tough to really hate, but also lacks the raw grunt to see it through a technical showdown. Point to the fact that Wii and DS get normal people playing games and show a willingness to think about new control technologies. Casually mention the 'similarity' between the Wii-mote and SixAxis, and ask any PS3 owners in the vicinity what the best use of motion control on their platform is. Talk about innovative games like Trauma Centre and Elite Beat Agents, which aren't available on any other console. And for Christ's sake shut up about Red Steel. 



Forum ammunition:

Nintendo fans are nicer
The total casualty list from the US launch of PS3 included one man with a broken jaw (from being pushed into a flagpole during a sprint for the doors), several pepper-spray victims (from police controlling riots in Virginia) and one gunshot wound (from a man being mugged in Pultnam, Connecticut). Meanwhile, at the Times Square Wii launch, Ninty fans passed out home-made cookies and cushions with Wii Love You written on them.

It has a certain Zen appeal
Wii represents a beautiful philosophical departure from the traditional arms race of bigger and better. In the words of Shigeru 'Shigsy' Miyamoto: "Power isn't everything for a console. Too many powerful consoles can't coexist. It's like having only ferocious dinosaurs. They might fight and hasten their own extinction."

It's selling by the shedload
Despite all Sony's scaremongering about PS3 shortages, it's Wii that everyone's still having trouble getting hold of. With more than 9 million consoles sold worldwide, shops in the US and UK are still reporting that demand's outstripping supply. Oh, and they're also selling more than their rivals, with 8.9 million units sold by Xbox 360 and a piffling 3.7 million PS3s in homes, according to the Financial Times.

They've got the most popular characters
Collectively the Mario Bros platform games have sold more than 193 million copies, making it the best-selling series of all time. Also, they're the only company whose mascot's been played by both an Oscar-nominated actor (Bob Hoskins in the film) and a professional wrestler (Captain Lou Albano in the Super Mario Bros TV Show). Mario's also the only videogame character to be a part of the Hollywood Wax Museum.

It's inclusive
Pensioners at the Sunrise Home in Birmingham have organised a Wii bowling league. The oldest player is 103.

It's award-winning
Wii's accolades included the Game Critics Best In Show Award from E3 2006, Popular Science's Grand Award for Home Entertainment, and, oddly, a place in PC World's 20 Most Innovative Products of the Year. Meanwhile, the DS bagged a Gadget of the week award from Time Magazine.

It's been a surprise hit against the odds
Some third-party developers have actually apologised for not taking Wii seriously. Ubisoft head honcho Yves Guillemot was quoted in German paper Der Spiegel as admitting that their launch titles were slightly rushed.

It'll make you fitter
Computer programmer Mickey DeLorenzo lost nine pounds in six weeks sticking to strict 30-minute a day Wii habit, and has since signed a deal to write a book tentatively titled The Wii Workout. A study by Liverpool John Moore's University suggests that gamers burn 1,800 calories in every twelve hours play – about the same as two entire packets of Jaffa Cakes.

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1 comment

  • Val24 - June 6, 2009 9:58 a.m.

    FIRST! (wtf did i do that? i hate when people screen first! oh well..)

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