Ahh, we had such high hopes for Homie Rollerz, the latest toyline to birth a thoughtless kart racer. Kidding, but damn! This is one massive pile of section-eight shit. Failure to innovate - that we expected. Every track item in this hood is blatantly ripped off from the original Mario Kart, and we%26rsquo;re talking the SNES one. But let%26rsquo;s move past that for a second... Homie Rollerz is effing broken.
At first we thought we may%26rsquo;ve been playing it wrong. We logged hours and only won a single race. Since there%26rsquo;s a garage for tune-ups, maybe we started out with subpar driving skill, a la San Andreas. So, we focused on earning %26ldquo;Respect%26rdquo; points to put towards our car by pulling of %26ldquo;tricks.%26rdquo;
Don%26rsquo;t get too excited; you can%26rsquo;t simultaneously go for first place and pull off any tricks. Nearly every trick ramp rockets you drastically off course on every horrendously designed track, and the ones that don%26rsquo;t slow you down by tossing you in the rough.
After an excruciatingly long time, we go to the ridiculously priced Garage (altering your vehicle%26rsquo;s color costs more than the tires) but nothing helped. If you%26rsquo;re counting, that%26rsquo;s three strikes against Homie Rollerz. (And we%26rsquo;re being nice enough not to include %26ldquo;derivative%26rdquo; and %26ldquo;soulless.%26rdquo;) Leaning tips your ugly little Mexi-mobile to right yourself in the air or steer, but that and %26ldquo;super-hopping%26rdquo; with the shoulder buttons is just as self-defeating. Also, the brief %26ldquo;story%26rdquo; screen is insipidly mandatory every time you start from the menu, and possibly offensive.