Hitler's greatest hits

Close out Week of Hate 2010 with the dictator's most notable game appearances

From: Persona 2: Innocent Sin

Year: 1999

Raised from the dead by rumors that he never actually committed suicide, this Hitler is unique among videogame Hitlers for actually fighting with the legendary Spear of Destiny, instead of just aggressively hunting for it. One of the key villains in Persona 2, he’s brought a legion of goons to the game’s Sumaru City, where he intends to raise the Mayan underworld, Xibalba. Somehow, this will in turn enable him to once again rule as dictator.

It’s almost a pity that he’s not really Hitler, but is actually just a disguise worn by the dark Lovecraftian god Nyarlathotep. Also, any badass points are automatically stripped away by the fact that he looks like this:

Above: Just look at that grin. That is a grin that had to go door-to-door and warn all its neighbors that it had just moved in down the block

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Year: 2008

Operation Darkness had incredible potential to be a great game. A World War II strategy-RPG, it focused on an elite commando unit, made up of werewolves, who specialized in fighting all the bizarre occult bullshit that Hitler supposedly had at his command. Unfortunately, it ended up a miserable slog of a game. So miserable, in fact, that we couldn’t even be bothered to play it to the end to actually kill its annoying version of Hitler.



Above: “On zis day, ze Reich vill move… more stiffly

We do know some things about him, though. Unlike a lot of the other soldiers you’ll fight, he appears to be kept alive by dint of magic powers. After witnessing his survival of the infamous “Valkyrie” bomb plot, the game’s protagonists take aim with a sniper rifle – only to see the bullet curve around him and hit a bystander.

Also, he apparently summons dragons to fight you after you think you’ve killed him in the game’s second-to-last story mission. We guess that’s pretty cool. Not cool enough to make us want to play through it, but cool nonetheless.


Above: A dragon that may or may not have been summoned by Hitler

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Year: 2008

Unlike the allegedly censored NES version, the creators of the Bionic Commando remakeat least tried to make it look like they were covering up the presence of Hitler in their game. You never really see “The Leader’s” full face, because he’s always wearing a respirator mask, and he makes his first appearance partly cloaked in shadows, as he rises up out of his futuristic Nazi superbed to stab his would-be second-in-command, Generalissimo Killt, in the back.


Above: To be fair, we’d kill to hang onto a bed like that, too

If you spend more than a split-second looking at (the top half of) his face, however, the resemblance to Hitler is almost as obvious as it was in the NES original. Come on, just look at the guy:

There are some key differences, though. For starters, while Master-D was caught by surprise, The Leader actually has time to launch his helicopter gunship and fill your next few minutes of life with missiles and laser beams.

Thankfully, the developers know what the fans want, and none of the above keeps non-Hitler’s head from blowing up even more spectacularly than before.


Above: Good lord, he’s still naked


Above: In glorious 2D and everything!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.
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