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Heavy Rain Sucks: The Game

"Jason! Jaaaason! JASON!"

If you've played even a little Heavy Rain, you know exactly what the quote above is about. Near the beginning of this adventure game, hyped and marketed as a revolutionary breakthrough in interactive storytelling, you guide a frightened father as he searches for his lost son in a crowded mall.

Dramatic? Intense? Heartbreaking? Not when all you're really doing is hitting the "X" button over and over to yell the kid's name in a monotone robot voice. The scene is obviously only one of hundreds, but it quickly became an internet meme and a rallying cry for Heavy Rain's disappointed detractors. Now, in a brilliant and bizarre turn of events, that ridicule has been transformed into its own game: the Flash-based Press X to Jason.

This isn't the first time, however, that we've watched – and played – as a major, multi-million selling title was lampooned by a quick, browser-based creation. Here's the Heavy Rain mockery, as well as five others.


Press X To Jason: The Game

Clearly mocking: Heavy Rain

A frightened father (made of giant pixelated blocks) races through a mall (made of even blockier blocks) in a desperate (hilarious) effort to save his lost (dead) son from a fatal (hilarious) car crash. How? By hitting "X" as many times as possible. Smack your keyboard to the count of 100 and you'll earn an Achievement… Tourettes Lord!

Play Press X To Jason


Amateur Surgeon

Clearly mocking: Trauma Center

You're a handsome and talented doctor, saving the lives of beautiful women, kindly old men and innocent children through the precise, laser-focused use of futuristic medical technology. All with a DS stylus or Wii remote! What could be more thrilling? What could be more pulse-pounding?

Amateur Surgeon, that's what. You're a greasy delivery boy, risking the lives of inept criminals and homeless dudes through the sloppy, amateurish use of "tools" you happened to find lying around the back of your van… stuff like staplers, lighters, pizza slicers and salad tongs. All for free on your PC.

Play Amateur Surgeon


Pole Dance Hero

Clearly mocking: Guitar Hero / Rock Band

Music games are more about the timing and rhythm of button presses than actually playing music. So why limit this seemingly simple-minded genre to wannabe rockers? The time-honored art of removing your clothes for money also requires timing and rhythm. Press arrow keys to the beat to collect money and arouse the crowd! Press space bar when lust meter is full!

Play Pole Dance Hero


Mama Kills Animals

Clearly mocking: Cooking Mama

The fact that this Flash game is hosted on the PETA website (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) ought to tell you everything you need to know. Mama is no longer the smiling, sparkly-eyed creator of delicious home-cooked meals, but a demonic, knife-wielding serial killer who guts and decapitates turkeys for fun, not for nutrition.

Play Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals


WTF?!

Clearly mocking: World of Warcraft

World of Warcraft's zillions of subscribers can take themselves, and their beloved MMO, pretty seriously sometimes. Entire days, weekends, even lives have been devoted to the game. WTF?! dares to ask that very question – WTF?! – by satirizing the phenomenon in the form of a Flash sidescroller with WTF?! appearances by philosophical and political thinkers like Karl Marx, Sigmund Freud and Mary Daly. We don't know… maybe you'll make more sense of it.

Play WTF?!


Achievement Unlocked

Clearly mocking: Xbox 360 Gamerscore

It's just a number. A meaningless number and nothing more. This Flash game wants to remind you of that inescapable fact as strongly and sarcastically as possible. Start the game, in fact, and you've already earned a handful of Achievements for such amazing feats as starting the game, starting level one and not moving. Do nothing for 15 seconds and you've got another Achievement.

You can even earn an Achievement for earning an Achievement. It's called "Best Player Ever." Ouch.

"Play" Achievement Unlocked

Mar 17, 2010

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17 comments

  • Metroidhunter32 - March 20, 2010 10:17 a.m.

    I hated Amateur Surgeon, it spends to much time making fun of Trauma Center to be decent at all. Clumsy is the highest praise I can give it. So don't call it "more exiting" than a game that polished its gameplay down to total precision. (I feel like a fanboy all of a sudden.)
  • egregious - March 19, 2010 12:48 a.m.

    "Here are six games that are parodies of popular games, oh and Heavy Rain sucks for the millionth time." Wow, keep up the good troll, GR.
  • philipshaw - March 18, 2010 8:15 p.m.

    Press X for Jason is not as funny as it sounds but achievement unlocked is funny
  • Oddeh7 - March 18, 2010 5:34 p.m.

    damn, I was hoping to hear ethan shout JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON not "jason" as seen in Press X to Jason. Ahh well reCaptcha: reissues of
  • EnragedTortoise1 - March 18, 2010 1:27 p.m.

    There's even an "achievment" in Achievment Unlocked for: Konami code Finding the developer's favorite spot Cheating (checking a walkthrough, which means you can't beat it unless you cheat.. wow)
  • allthegoodnameswheretaken - March 18, 2010 9:08 a.m.

    I really loved Press X to Jason =)
  • Samael - March 18, 2010 5:16 a.m.

    @LizarDAZZLE Um, where in this article is Tyler "beating on" Achievement Unlocked? He just described the game and gave you a link. I'm gonna go play it right now! It sounds funny.
  • mgkyo666 - March 18, 2010 4:43 a.m.

    I play amateur surgen on my ipod all the time!
  • Cwf2008 - March 18, 2010 3:43 a.m.

    Wow the Mama Kills Animals games is pretty ironic haha so is PETA going for a new image now?
  • JohnnyMaverik - March 18, 2010 3:13 a.m.

    I got 100% completion on "Achievement Unlocked" xD
  • LizarDAZZLE - March 18, 2010 2:03 a.m.

    Oh come on, no reason to beat on Achievement Unlocked!! JMTB02 is a senior in the flash game industry! He made the game specifically to show the ridiculousness of achievements!
  • gopikmin - March 18, 2010 1:52 a.m.

    achievement unlocked is pretty good game. it's developer made a bunch of other good games like "this is the only level" and 'obey; the game." These games make you really think. the developer's name is jmtb02
  • RebornKusabi - March 18, 2010 1:08 a.m.

    I forgot to mention in my first post because I fail... but I love all of of these. Especially the last one lol
  • pat5556 - March 18, 2010 1:07 a.m.

    I just beat Achivement Unlocked a few days ago. Hilarious!
  • RebornKusabi - March 18, 2010 1:06 a.m.

    How novel, a Heavy Rain dig on GamesRadar.
  • Cyberninja - March 18, 2010 1:01 a.m.

    wow just wow that lasr=t game must suck
  • 51jacK - March 17, 2010 11:33 p.m.

    FIRST! yeah bitch. great articlw

Showing 1-17 of 17 comments

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