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HaloRadar: 37 reasons to hate Halo 3!

30. 2D cutscene backgrounds
Not only are these inconsistent with the rest of the 3D art direction of the Halo series, they don’t show up until the last quarter of the game. What happened? Did the development team run out of time?

31. The devices
With all the hubbub around the mysterious use of the X button before the game launched, we were expecting something as cool as, say, a chainsaw. The central problem with the gravity lift, bubble shield, deployable cover, tripmine, glowing field deployer, robot squirrel, or whatever, is that it’s easier to shoot people than figure out how to use the equipment.

32. Marines climb up the rocks in the first level
It's the first level of Halo 3, before we've even fired the first shot, the rock soundtrack is blasting and we can't wait to turn our first Brute into a big furry rug full of bullet holes. Our squad of marines starts climbing up a small rock embankment, eager to fight for humanity. As we get to the wall to follow them over, we wonder, "Where the hell is the climb button?" If you haven’t figured it out yet, Master Chief has to walk around the cliff while the Marines climb up it. This ingenious bit of level design took five minutes out of the lives of everyone who ever played Halo 3.
 
33. Picking your color
After taking 15 minutes to design our green Spartan with a pink trim and unicorn decal applied to her left arm, we were assigned to the blue team.


Above: Our team in action! That's us holding the rifle

34. The pistol
Oh sweet pistol, how we loved you in Halo 2. Now you can’t fire while zoomed in, and you do damage slower than high cholesterol. Hang on to your MAC5 Assault Rifles, everyone, because in Halo 3 you spawn with a better weapon than this pea-shooter.

35. Ducking under radar
The UNSC can design a suit of armor that will shield you from the absolute zero temperatures of space, falling through the atmosphere and landing on your head in the middle of a jungle, but it can't install a radar system that's advanced enough to detect someone who's ducking ten feet behind you.

36. Cortana and Master Chief are in love
No, it's never explicitly stated, but pay attention anytime they speak to each other, and we're sure you'll agree the writing is pretty much on the wall. Hate to break it to you, Chief, but she’s a computer program, and most of the time she’s about six inches tall. And she lives in your armor. There are a lot of reasons this relationship won’t work out.

 

37. Downloadable maps
We coughed up 800 Microsoft points for the first Halo 3 Map Pack and got ready to experience the first 36 reason we hate this game as if it were our very first time. Then we played the old standards Construct and Snowbound four time each. Again, There's no way to pick the map you want to play on Xbox Live (see reason number 2).

Mar 28, 2008

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19 comments

  • ItsDaKoolaidDude - August 4, 2014 11:33 p.m.

    First: Fuck you dude for making me make an account ([{JUST}]) to slap you in the face for saying "hate this game for these stupid reasons", goddamn twat. Second: Reasons #2, 6, 9, 12, and 30 are completely stupid to even try to make anyone hate a game just for those pathetic things to rant on! They're small details that are arguably unavoidable in just about every damn game, deal with it. Third: #24: In case you didn't really play the game, the damn place was about to wipe every living thing out of existence, OF COURSE YOU WOULD ALLY WITH YOUR WORST ENEMY IF IT MEANT YOU COULD STOP THAT FROM HAPPENING!! Not everyone loves playing that "oh so sad but makes you manically and evilly laugh" bad ending to every game, fuckwit.
  • Cwf2008 - December 2, 2009 6:58 a.m.

    Lol flamewars ftw! I like the Hornet one: I think its armed with a machine gun. But who ever notices it?
  • Telekinesis - September 16, 2008 12:04 a.m.

    Uh how about there is no way to reasonably set up a co-op campaign? You cant just search for people who want to play co-op like other modes, you have to clumsily find people who wan to play on internet forums then become friends then if your lucky enough gater 4 people together to play. Complete screw up. Why not just make a lobby like all games have been doing for the past 15+ years....hello McFly, hello.
  • themooninites - September 21, 2009 8:35 p.m.

    @ 108796a you have a right to complain about the game if youre paying 70 and up for it. halo 3 was majorly flawed...such as the fact that the campain was boring as hell and the missions seemed alot like the last two games missions except less fun. bungie must of been like, "how can we make master chief look like a big pussy....IVE GOT IT! make him fall in love with an annoying computer program! thats what the fans want, right?"
  • neon6 - September 21, 2009 12:24 a.m.

    @D4rk2triker: He said the WEBSITE GLITCHED glitched on him saying his post wasn't entered in, he typed it in again and OH THERE'S MY POST AGAIN. Please read the comment carefully before posting less you look like a asshole. BTW, we don't have to deal with it. If it sucks, it sucks. No reason we have to go with it because of someone else.
  • D4rk2triker - September 19, 2009 12:47 a.m.

    @Scorchstx: Your keyboard should have an edit button called the BACKSPACE key, or another one that removes characters in front of the little bar called DELETE. About the article though: Some stuff I agree with but its all part of it, DEAL WITH IT.
  • 108796a - June 29, 2009 3:49 a.m.

    god wats wrong with you bitches the only problem i see in the game is that people have TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT!!! like u guys could make a better game...
  • Assassin4than - April 28, 2009 4:17 a.m.

    jackf-11 Oh no he didnt just play a battle in xbox live. then message the [people in the last battle and ask if they wanna campaign. or if you didnt know. th campaign is 1 player too :). only like 9 of the 37 reasons are true. but those still have explanations like 33. i dont like that either but if we were in our chosen colour it would be very hard to quickly recognise your team and you could be hanging around the enemy.
  • nadrewod999 - March 17, 2009 8:31 p.m.

    Hey, is anyone else able to access the Mythic Map pack with their Halo Wars codes? I can't even use the cards, and the guy at Gamestop says that the maps AREN'T EVEN FINISHED YET! Also, I completely beat Halo a while back (except possibly for Cortana on Legendary *shudder*), and for the most part I just play online, do a Burnout on a City street at least once a week (without ever getting arrested for speeding), and wait for new fun games to come out. P.S. Did you catch a game name in what I said? You'll get free epic win sauce if you do. Everyone else will get a consolation prize of epic lose sauce, which is still epic and is still a sauce, but isn't the same.
  • CapnCrotchPunch - September 21, 2009 10:03 p.m.

    @EVERYONE ITS A JOKE! And don't bitch about the website, its fine
  • Liamrules42 - April 10, 2009 9:26 p.m.

    oh, and at the risk of sounding like a fan boy, all these don't matter, it's still a brilliant game, plus the halo series spawned red vs. blue, completly letting it get away with everything (except the flood, they suck)
  • Liamrules42 - April 10, 2009 9:23 p.m.

    Wow, did someone take a dump in scorchstx's bed, cause he seems slightly cranky
  • Scorchstx - March 22, 2009 6:24 a.m.

    Now I have a third complaint, you're little website glitched up here and said my second complaint didn't get posted, well here it is twice do to it actually getting posted.
  • Scorchstx - March 22, 2009 6:20 a.m.

    I have another complaint/suggestion as well assholes, put a fucking edit button down so I can fix my fucking typos.
  • Scorchstx - March 22, 2009 6:19 a.m.

    I have a complaint/suggestion for this website as well assholes, put a fucking edit down so I can fix my fucking typos.
  • Scorchstx - March 22, 2009 6:16 a.m.

    I have quiet a bit to say in response to this blog, first of all,jackf-11 is just being an ass and shunning a good suggestion from telekinesis. "Most people don't have this problem because they have friends?" Well, I have friends. Not many x box live friends, that's just want I need so I can be cool like you, friends from a community of trash talking wusses who discriminate anyone with an accent other than american. As for the complaints with the blog- How is the grenades being powered down a bad thing? hell they should remove the things, grenades take the skill right out of fps when there loitered about everywhere and spawning with people like in halo, just because someone sucks with grenades doesnt make them a noob, the way they're used is poorly designed, I mean the friggin things don't even go where you aim half the time. 2.Is also a stupid complaints, more games should do like halo and stop letting people choose the maps they want to play when searching for non custom matches. I mean people always say halo is skill suposedly one of the most skill based games ever right? Well playing the same map over and over then owning on it hardly makes a player skilled, just un fair for the people who don't play the map all the time.
  • nadrewod999 - March 17, 2009 9:21 p.m.

    Also, when I played Halo, I used the pistol most of the time because I knew how to use it. It has a small crosshair so that you can aim like you are zoomed in without losing the view of what is directly in front of you (like a big angry Hunter getting ready to swing his shield at you either like a baseball bat and send you all the way to Reach or like a sledgehammer and either send you straight to the other side of whatever planet you are currently on or get all your buddies guns jammed with your blood, guts, and armor).
  • nadrewod999 - March 17, 2009 9:10 p.m.

    No offense GamesRadar, but I both like the missiles and, when they aren't EXCLUDED (thank you, Avalanche), use BOTH triggers (AKA both the missiles and the machine guns).
  • jackf-11 - December 24, 2008 1:14 a.m.

    Well most people don't have that problem because they have friends. This comment brought to you by epic win sauce.

Showing 1-19 of 19 comments

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