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Grisly Disney

GUNPLAY

This is only “grisly” by the most timid of today’s standards. It’s not like guns aren’t commonplace in this country. However, Disney likes to keep any image of its iconic characters brandishing firearms just below the public eye in fear of sending a bad message to “The Kids.” Gamers shouldn’t be a problem.

Toy Tinkers | 1949

While dressed as Santa, Donald offers Chip and Dale a present wrapped in a giant nutshell.

Symphony Hour | 1942

Acting as a band conductor, Mickey prevents Donald from walking away from the performance in the most diplomatic way possible.


Above: “Sit your ass down… Hu-Ha! 

Donald’s Penguin | 1939

Doesn’t matter how cute you are, you can’t just walk into Donald’s house and eat his fish.

Clown of the Jungle | 1947

Vengeance, thy name is Duck!

And now for one of our favorite subcategories…


GUNPLAY WITH CHILDREN

The Rescuers | 1977

There’s something indefinably creepy about all Disney films made in the ‘70s and ‘80s, but this scene really takes the cake. As the orphaned Penny attempts to escape her kidnappers, the Madame Medusa fires a shotgun blast right at her head!


Above: Thank goodness she ducked

Officer Duck | 1939

As Disney’s longest running character, Pete does bad better than just about anybody. As proof in this short, when there’s a knock upon his door, he greets his caller with a hail of machinegun fire.


SORTA REAL MURDER

White Wilderness | 1958

One thing we’re not showing you today are the racial stereotypes found in the earlier Disney cartoons. They do exist, and yes, they’re extremely insensitive. Part of the purported reason they’ve been swept under the rug is that certain stereotypes have a way of becoming an accepted reality once presented in mass media. And sometimes the consequences can be deadly.

Lemmings walk off cliffs to commit suicide? Says who? Well, Disney had a hand in perpetuating that myth in one of their nature documentaries called White Wilderness. Apparently, the filmmakers had thought that to be true as well, and were then shocked to find out that the little bastards weren’t jumping once the cameras started rolling. Turns out, lemmings do not commit suicide. They migrate, and occasionally drown in the process, but it’s neither deliberate nor voluntary.


Above: “Quitcha pushin!”

But the show must go on! Those horrifying YouTube captures you see above are simultaneously real and fake. Using trick photography, a snow-covered turntable, and a few dozen lemmings, every shot in the migration sequence was staged and not everybody made it. Thanks to the film, the urban legend concerning lemming suicide persisted, we got several great games out of it, and now we’ve come full circle.

Sep 24, 2009


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99 comments

  • yetanotherCid304 - April 19, 2011 11:02 p.m.

    Parenting-Fail!! lol
  • WelcomeGhosts10 - December 11, 2010 7:35 p.m.

    this is an amazing article, but mostly upset I missed "Week of Disney" :(
  • Smeggs - June 9, 2010 5:24 a.m.

    "Lightning Kill! Fall-To-Your-Death Kill! Crush Kill! Eaten Alive Kill! QUADRAKILL!" I was laughing so hard reading this part. Wouldn't it be an Overkill though? Four kills all within four seconds of each other.
  • axelgarcia1 - June 9, 2010 1:26 a.m.

    “Sit your ass down… Hu-Ha! best quote ever! XD
  • hybrid616 - January 9, 2010 8:07 p.m.

    it's actually meant as a parody of nazis and was used as american propoganda...
  • Alfredhitchshot23 - October 17, 2009 2:16 a.m.

    Well I know Disney could get a little messy, we all do, but for Cryin' out loud, Donald Duck as a F*cking NAZI?!?!?!?!
  • Kytl - October 5, 2009 10:29 p.m.

    whoa, Disney even had eating babies?
  • rxb - October 1, 2009 3:03 p.m.

    Just heard the podcast, good article.
  • EmmaXII - September 30, 2009 4:26 p.m.

    D:
  • GamesRadarMikelReparaz - September 29, 2009 12:40 a.m.

    "If you put a gun to our heads and made us choose one reason why we pity the youth of today, it’s that they’ll never know the beauty of a suicide gag." Don't worry, Chris - so long as today's youth have Drinky Crow, there'll always be plenty of suicide gags to go around.
  • SgtPoppenfresh - September 28, 2009 11:46 p.m.

    This article was awesome hope you guys make more of them...keep up the awesomely funny work.
  • GameManiac - September 28, 2009 6:35 p.m.

    Why aren't modern cartoons LIKE this?!?!?!?!
  • Romination - September 28, 2009 5:31 a.m.

    so...was the Aracuan a revolutionary? Der Furher's Face has the best song i've heard today..
  • dannage805 - September 27, 2009 5:04 p.m.

    who doesn't like camp flute playin nazi's?
  • pikachu2000 - September 27, 2009 3:05 p.m.

    Damn, I really miss the good old days of cartoon volence. Sadly, today's American cartoons are gross and full of boring ass shit (both ways), and anime is kicking their asses ever since 2000. Blame it all on the hypocrite soccer moms. Hey, how about doing an article about those Warner Bros. cartoons later in the future? The old school looney tunes are just as crazy as the old Walt Disney cartoons.
  • Phantasmagorical - September 27, 2009 10:07 a.m.

    ... I miss my old cartoons.
  • Yeager1122 - September 26, 2009 9:01 p.m.

    oops double post sorry
  • Yeager1122 - September 26, 2009 9:01 p.m.

    Pinochio f****** Dies lmao that was hilarious.
  • Yeager1122 - September 26, 2009 9 p.m.

    Pinochio f****** Dies lmao that was hilarious.
  • GrandMoffBubbles - September 26, 2009 11:43 a.m.

    I would like to take issue with the "Infanticide" part of the article. It is common knowledge that baby oysters are the most tasty of the mollusk clan. I personally like to get them from a locally harvested Oyestermonger (usually someone who has waterfront property and wants to make a buck). These lil delights are best enjoyed (in my opinion) smoked over a campfire (or BBQ) and slurped up moments after the shell pops opens to reveal the fleshy goodness within. Bon Appetite, mutha fukkars! P.S. smoke is the key ingredient.

Showing 1-20 of 99 comments

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