Every Fourth of July, Americans proudly celebrate the casting-off of British oppression by doing what we do best: staring at explosions. ...
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How noble, the human species! Once a year we selflessly take a break from wrapping products in toxic plastics and burning piles of old tires to appease this stupid, stupid planet we live on. How dare it demand more trees, breathable air and animals that don’t choke to death on our trash? ...
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There are enemies that are circular, and there are enemies that aren’t circular. These are the ones that are circular.
Euclidian geometry defines circles as the points on a plane which are the same distance from another point called the center, got it? That’s awesome. There is no geometric definition for enemies, but if there was it would define them as the guys that kill you. ...
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Breaking news! Toad isn’t actually a toad... street fighting doesn’t involve fireballs… guns rarely come with chainsaws attached… and a theoretical physicist has never spent his scientific career smashing zombie head crabs with a blood-soaked crowbar.
As we demonstrated last week, however, the real world would be a hell of a lot more interesting if any of the above was true. ...
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Mario has a very defined look: brown shoes, blue overalls, red shirt, a matching red hat with an "M" over the bill and white gloves. It's a look seen in dozens of games and a third-world economy's worth of merchandise. But even with such an established character, at the heart of Mario's history and appeal is his parade of different outfits. ...
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It’s a frequently cited fact that Mario is more recognized worldwide than Mickey Mouse (whoever that is), meaning everyone everywhere should know what he looks like, even if his official look has matured over the years. ...
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It’s no surprise Nintendo would alter Mario and Bowser as time wears on, especially when their first appearances are crude sprites that barely convey what they’re supposed to be. If you study the duo’s evolution over the course of 23 years, it’s just plain funny how much Bowser has shifted sizes, from roughly comparable to Mario to Godzilla-sized beast of fury. ...
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