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The Sexual Politics Of The Mushroom Kingdom

Who's sleeping with who, why Peach is a slut, and why Mario really needs better self-esteem.

Words: David Houghton, GamesRadar UK

Mario

What a poor, poor sap the red-clad plumber is. Peach has got him wrapped round her pinky finger and he just can't break away. He's a good guy under the spell of a bad woman, and what's happening to him is just tragic. He and Luigi turned up in the Mushroom Kingdom with the best of intentions, and finding it in turmoil, honourably set off to help. But Peach just loved having three men (Well, two men and a giant dino-turtle) pursuing her, and thus a dark, dirty little cycle of emotional abuse was born.

It's not Mario's fault, but he's not helping himself. A self-defeating need to please is at the core of his psychological make-up, possibly stemming from depression or anxiety issues (It's a textbook symptom), and the falsely simpering "Thank You" or half-arsed peck on the cheek he gets from Peach after putting himself through Hell to save her each time is more than enough emotional pay-off for him to convince himself she's still worth it.

In his mind, it means she really does love him after all, and that any day soon they'll be together. She's just busy and has a complicated life is all. Being royal takes up a lot of her time, and he doesn't want to push her when she's getting over the trauma of another kidnapping. And if you don't think she plays up those excuses to keep him hanging on, then you're looking at this from a very naive angle indeed. It's a horrible situation, and a classic example of the abuse cycle. He can probably see what's happening, but he chooses to ignore it because he doesn't want to. As messed up as it is, there's security in the status quo, and as long as the bait keeps dangling, he'll keep taking it.


 
26 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
MW3M  - 10 months 9 days ago 
This is the greatest article you have ever made. Hands down.
Coolbeans69  - 10 months 8 days ago 
this was pretty great
cell289  - 10 months 4 days ago 
9 pages the sexual relations over certain 1979 pixel art makes me question my role in the clock tower of life.
Corsair89  - 9 months 20 days ago 
I gotta say, this article is fantastic. Hands down one of the cleverest, thorough, and well-written articles I've even seen on this site, which is saying a lot. Very, very good job.

In Peach's defense, she did get off her ass in Super Princess Peach to save Mario when he got kidnapped. She also helped Mario and was a playable character for most of the adventure in Super Paper Mario.
Stryde22  - 9 months 20 days ago 
now THIS is the kind of article i like to read. XD. the psychological analysis of fictional characters can be WAY too entertaining
Wordup95  - 9 months 19 days ago 
... funny, :D
EatShorts8  - 8 months 19 days ago 
the Bowser Jr one really gets u thinking
adrenaguy  - 8 months 17 days ago 
you know, eatshorts8, that's a little disturbing O_O
AA95mp  - 8 months 16 days ago 
do you think toads could be drugs they are magic mushrooms.
reroxas  - 7 months 13 days ago 
Ya know I always kinda understood the Mario story. That's why I don't really play Mario anymore why because Mario f**ked everyone over for Peach,Peach is a slut, Bowser is what this article said and Luigi Yoshi and everybody else is getting f**ked over because of this. And Luigi is better.
fallout3mutielover  - 7 months 10 days ago 
haha stupid peach and her hoish life
Da-Ku  - 6 months 25 days ago 
This is pure awesomeness, i understand it more than i did at its first publishing xD
We need more like this
Shift  - 6 months 11 days ago 
Personally, I think that this is gr's best article.

Hands down.

I'll never EVER look at Mario or Peach or any of them the same way again. Especially Bowser Jr. O_O
Evernight  - 4 months 19 days ago 
You forgot to mention Yoshi having to save Mario's child (where ever that is from) twice - taking care of the child like the nice uncle would when a absentee father goes gallivanting off after some trim.

Yoshi is a saint for that - but like you said he no doubt got sick of the BS and left him. Friends will help you move - but they won't play daddy to your kids while you pursue a destructive relationship.
VideoGameKing  - 4 months 18 days ago 
dosent luigi have dasiy as his Girlfriend?
barrage7667  - 4 months 18 days ago 
yea mario is a dick he will make sure daisy is ok but his own son!!! naaahhh let yoshi do it who cares if he dies as long as mario can get it on with his "i-need-more-attention-pay-attention-to-me" whore peach all nite he can always make another kid rite? dsigusting
DarxStar  - 4 months 18 days ago 
Baby Mario is Mario isn't he? About Bowser Jr. I'd been thinking the same thing. Just one problem: Peach was never kidnapped for nine months at a time so Bowser must have kidnapped her nine months later. I always liked Luigi better and now I like him more.
Since no one has said it I have the right to say First to say First.
Xeacons  - 4 months 17 days ago 
PRECIOUS!!! Haven't laughed this hard in months!!

But I do think if Peach was Jr's mom, he'd bare more resemblance. Don't forget all the other Koopa kids. If you ask me, Bowser reproduces asexually.
Mattgue  - 4 months 17 days ago 
hahahah lol maeby you are right bowser does reproduce asexually and luige is the sharpes person in the mushroom kingdom
dreamgor  - 4 months 17 days ago 
I ignore this article even if it hits a chord oh and here's a link to an awesome vid about it: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/443020 and darkxstar saying that us just stupid and even more so with that excuse

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