Games: Kingdom Hearts & Tales of Vesperia

Yes, villains can be emo too, usually driven to cloak-wearing lunacy by the very thing that made them evil.  But which white-haired, effeminate megalomaniac is the most pitiable?

*Note: We’re going with “Ansem” because it would take a freaking Power Point presentation to explain why he’s not really Ansem. And by the time he drops the act in Kingdom Hearts II, he stops being emo and starts being just plain crazy.

Ansem

Above: Sora’s too young to know emo when he sees it.

Duke

Above: Insert sigh here.

The Winner: Ansem - he doesn’t sell out to the good guys’ namby-pamby feel-good assertions in the last fifteen minutes of the game.

Games: Eternal Sonata & Final Fantasy X-2

Love and the lack thereof is the number one cause of emo among JRPG twenty-somethings. Be sure to protect yourself by 1) never falling in love, 2) falling in love with someone who’s already in love with you and 3) dying before your lover does so you don’t have to stick around and be sad about it. 

Falsetto

Above: “Why did you have to die?!”

Shuyin

Above: “But… I couldn’t save you.”

The Winner: Shuyin – because Falsetto gets over it.