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Amazing game peripherals from the stupid ages

It's junk! It's genius! It's a sexy collection of retro plastic

Words: Matt Cundy, GamesRadar UK

Game peripherals are no new thing. They've been with us for as long as we've had home videogame systems to plug them into. The first wave of game peripherals hoisted upon the virgin generation of gamers was a hit-and-miss mix of pointless plastic tat and genuinely innovative inventions. Here we've gathered a pretty even mix of the two, plus a bunch of stuff that falls somewhere in between. Be amazed.

Game Mate 2 Wireless Game Controllers
The orthopaedic shoes of the joystick world. And that antenna is a nasty eye-out accident just waiting to happen. Did anyone really hate wires so much they actually forked out for this crap?

Atari Mindlink
The idea behind the Mindlink was that it would let wearers of the headband peripheral control compatible Atari 2600 games by harnessing the power of their eyebrow muscles. That was the idea. In reality it was a steaming pile of bum gas. With all the forehead contortions required, early play-tests of the device gave people headaches. It was never released.

Vectrex Light Pen
No matter how shit-hot graphics get, the neon glow of simple vector lines will always be cool. So a pen that draws electric blue straight curves deserves to be right up there in the invention hall of fame along with the abacus, the wheel and the Wonderbra. It's one of the only things on this list that we actually want.

The Voice
The Voice for the Odyssey 2 added "the new and exciting dimension of voice and sound to home video entertainment." As exciting as this hitherto unexplored dimension was, The Voice was mostly used for saying things like "YOU ARE A LOSER" in robotized synth-speak.

Starpath Supercharger
A clunky thing you slotted into your Atari 2600 that bumped the machine's 128 byte RAM up to a planet destroying 6.2KB. Kind of like making a walking stick better by sticking on some bigger sticks.

The Joyboard
An Atari 2600 controller released by Amiga in 1982. You stood on it and moved about. There was only ever one skiing game released for it. The joy to be had with this board appears to be negligible. The Nikes on the box are pretty sweet, though.


 
36 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
435  - 9 months 6 days ago 
Hahaha. Kudos on the Miyamoto dig. :D

(1st)
Camoxide  - 9 months 6 days ago 
Lol how the fuck do you play the giant NES controler? :L
sixboxes  - 9 months 6 days ago 
Hey man! I had that Coleco Super Action Controller! and while it did look ridiculous it was actually easier to handle than the paddles that came with the system.
GamesRadarJustinTowell  - 9 months 6 days ago 
That NES controller looks like something I read about in Sega Power back in the day. I think it's foot pedals for use with a crappy steering wheel which wasn't attached to anything, it used tilt. But seeing as this was before analogue steering wheels came in, it was a bit pointless. lol REcaptcha: Foothold Morton's... probably what this controller was called :P
Juriasu  - 9 months 6 days ago 
How many hands do you need to play the colecovision super action thing with?
KaylaKaze  - 9 months 6 days ago 
The Super Action controller was A LOT better than the coleco's standard controller. You really don't need everything in a single game. For example, you use the scroll wheel OR the joystick, and you generally only use the numberpad to respond to menus.
Bossco  - 9 months 6 days ago 
My mate had one of those foot pedal things, we thought it was awesome but now it looks shit.
SirBonkers  - 9 months 6 days ago 
Great article. I remember the ColecoVision Super Action Controller Set, I thought that thing was so cool. Shit look at all those buttons!

Yummmmmmy....Princess Leia!!!!!!!!!
Theonik  - 9 months 6 days ago 
Awesome article. You could have added the power glove to the list.
hardcore_gamer1990  - 9 months 6 days ago 
lol @ monty python foot playing the massive controller :)
Unoriginal  - 9 months 6 days ago 
I would want to control my games with my feet.

Oh wait, no I wouldn't.
socrrocr7  - 9 months 6 days ago 
Is it possible for Atari to sue Nintendo for copyright infringement?
MacGyver1138  - 9 months 6 days ago 
socrrocr7, a copyright is only for an "artistic" property like music, written works, or film. If anything, it would be a patent violation. That would depend on the length of time Atari (or whatever company made the thing) had the patent for, as they do run out eventually.
Hobojedi  - 9 months 6 days ago 
You need teamwork and friends to win at the Coleco Vision thing...
Montag  - 9 months 6 days ago 
You may laugh, but there isn't anything there I wouldn't maim a fluffy kitten for, if only I could have it in my collection.

If you want uber shizter then my PS1 fighting stage should be up there. Also how about an article about how modern peripherals are all just rip offs of ye olde days stuff
Montag  - 9 months 6 days ago 
..... must admit tho' I love cheesy peripherals, especially in boxes with their polystyrene... ooooo suit you sir!

I also own 2 vectrex... would that be a brace of vectrii?
reyalejandro13  - 9 months 6 days ago 
hey, how can you have a peripherals article without R.O.B.? the king of periphreals, and the only one still relevant. Also, Gameline to AOL? hard to beleive.
drprofessor  - 9 months 6 days ago 
LIGHTPEN FTW! Nice article.
NelosAngelos  - 9 months 6 days ago 
You play video games by moving your eyebrows...WTF MAN!!!
Orionthefirst  - 9 months 6 days ago 
What if the eyebrow-controller was successful? It would be epic to play Mirror's Edge like that. Look Ma, no hands!
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